Sharpening Your Writing Skills - BUSINESS COMMUNICATION · 2019-05-14 · Module 1 Good Business...

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SHARPENING your writing skills A WORKSHOP FOR BUSINESS AND TECHNICAL WRITERS

Transcript of Sharpening Your Writing Skills - BUSINESS COMMUNICATION · 2019-05-14 · Module 1 Good Business...

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SHARPENINGyour writing skillsA WORKSHOP FOR BUSINESSA N D T E C H N I C A L W R I T E R S

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SHARPENINGyour wr i t ing sk i l ls

A WORKSHOP FORBUSINESS

A N D T E C H N I C A LW R I T E R S

DUNCAN KENT

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Copyright 2002, Duncan Kent & Associates Ltd.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication covered by the publisher�scopyright may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in anyform or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, orotherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Written, produced, and distributed by Duncan Kent & Associates Ltd.

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Table of Contents iii

Table of Contents

Introduction....................................... 1

Module 1Good Business Writing Style.......... 3

Over-the-top style ............................. 4Legal style (legalese) ........................ 5Bureaucratic style ............................ 5Excessive courtesy ............................ 6Abbreviated scientific style .............. 7Say it in plain English...................... 8Tone................................................... 9Styleguides and style sheets .......... 10

Module 2Planning to Write ........................... 13

Decide on your purpose .................. 14Decide on your objectives ............... 15Understand your readers ............... 16Reading at work.............................. 17Clustering ....................................... 18Organize your ideas........................ 20Organize your document ................ 21Outline before you write................. 23

Module 3Writing Strategies .......................... 25

Write faster and better................... 26Design a hierarchy.......................... 27Paragraph frequently ..................... 28Use informative headings .............. 29Present information graphically .... 30Edit for clarity ................................ 31Review and approvals .................... 33

Module 4Words and Sentences..................... 35

What�s the fog index? ......................36Fog index calculation ......................37Writing points of view .....................39Sentence length ...............................42Types of sentences ...........................42Word choice......................................44Sentence order .................................49Active and passive verbs .................50Use strong verbs..............................52Verb tenses ......................................53

Module 520 Rules of Plain English.............. 55

Write in parallel ways.....................56Keep related words together ...........57Use prepositions with care..............58Distinguish �which� from �that� .....59Avoid surplus nouns........................60Avoid noun and modifier strings ....60Use pronouns with care...................62Avoid slang ......................................63Be gender neutral............................64Be specific ........................................65Avoid clichés ....................................66Place modifiers carefully.................67Avoid unnecessary qualification.....68Use contractions ..............................68Be concise.........................................69Avoid foreign words.........................70Capitalize properly ..........................71Abbreviate with care .......................72Write numbers consistently ............73Ignore some old rules ......................73

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iv Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Module 6Punctuation Matters...................... 75

Commas (,) ...................................... 77Colons and semicolons (: ;) ............. 79Punctuating lists ............................ 80Apostrophes (�) ................................ 81Parentheses ( ) ................................ 82Quotation marks (� �)...................... 83Hyphens (-)...................................... 84Em dashes (�) and en dashes (�) .. 85Other marks of punctuation........... 86

Module 7Designing Effective Pages ............ 89

Page design and layout .................. 90Using graphics................................ 95Using your word processor............. 97

Appendix 1Answers to Exercises ..................... 99

Appendix 2Writing Styleguide ....................... 109

Appendix 3Dictionary of Plain English........ 123

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Introduction 1

Introduction

Good writing skills are essential forcareer success in many jobs. Areyours holding you back? Thisworkshop is designed to dramaticallyimprove your business writing byshowing you how to communicatefaster and more effectively usingplain English.

Who is the workshop for?

This workshop is for you if you writereports, design documents, manuals,white papers, journal articles, orroutine letters and memos, and wantto get your message across quicklyand clearly. If you�re already a goodwriter, the workshop will sharpenyour skills and give you valuableinsights into your writing style. Andyou�ll get a quick refresher on some ofthe important rules of grammar,punctuation, and usage that oftencause problems for writers.

What does the workshop cover?

In this workshop you�ll learn:

• what plain English is and why it�sthe best style for business writing

• why writing styleguides areimportant and the best ones tobuy

• important steps in planning whatyou�re going to write

• the things you want to knowabout your readers

• how to brainstorm ideas• ways to organize your document• strategies for writing faster and

better• ways to present information

graphically• how to write simple but powerful

sentences• the importance of choosing

everyday words• 20 rules of plain English• where to put commas and other

tricky punctuation• how to design pages that stand

out and are easy to read

In the Appendix, you�ll find suggestedanswers to the exercises and a shortbusiness writing styleguide. You�llalso find the Dictionary of PlainEnglish, which lists overblown words,clichés, and overly formal phrasesand their plain English equivalents.

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2 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

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Module 1 Good Business Writing Style 3

MODULE 1MODULE 1MODULE 1MODULE 1

Good Business Writing Style

YOU don�t need to be a genius withwords or have a degree in English to bea good business writer. You just need tohave good ideas, be able to figure outwhat your readers need to know, andbe able to express yourself clearly.

At its best, business writing is simpleand straightforward. It�s what youwrite about that can be complicated.Good writers write plainly so that themeaning comes through clearly. Goodwriting does not draw attention toitself. Instead of �Wow, this person hasa great vocabulary!� your readersshould be saying �Wow, that�s a greatidea!� Or simply, �Yeah, I understand.�

But many people have different ideasabout what is good business writing.We�ve all been influenced by differentpeople over our lives our parents, ourteachers, our friends, our bosses.They�ve all helped shape the way wewrite (and a lot of other things too).And we�ve been exposed to manydifferent writing styles in ourreading both good and bad.

In this module, you�ll learn aboutdifferent writing styles good andbad and decide for yourself what isappropriate writing style. If you�re likemost people, you�ll agree that it�s plainEnglish (also called plain language).And that�s what this workshop isabout learning to express yourselfclearly using plain English.

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4 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Over-the-top styleAn aspiring writer sent me hisresume with this cover letter. To getyou thinking about what is goodbusiness writing style, read thisletter. (Yes, this is a real letter!) His

writing made a big impression onme but probably not the way heintended. Read it and decide foryourself. Would you hire him?

Sample cover letter

Dear Mr. Kent,

Thank you for speaking with me on the phone on Friday, December 2nd, andinviting me to submit a resume to your firm. Please find it enclosed.

Let me pay you the compliment of honesty. You can see my experience is limited.But I can write. I know what makes beautiful language, and I have sewn silkpurses from sows� ears. I know how to persuade, to argue, to narrate and torelate. My language is always �definite, specific and concrete,� to paraphrase thatvenerable tome. I can maintain a sustained argument, laying out my premises inan order which is at once logical and elegant, flowing to their predeterminedconclusion. I am ruthlessly self-critical, excising every word, sentence andparagraph that does not move forward or prove my thesis. In two words, mywriting is �motion� and �economy.�

But again, I have limited experience. My degree was an excellent start, and mymilitary staff-writing and infrequent editorializing have proven worthwhile foraysinto other language venues. I now launch forward, tentatively but fearlessly, intoanother possibility of writing: the hired gun. I see my skills as marketable, just asmarketable as butchery or blacksmithing. And just as a butcher learns skills andbegins his apprenticeship, I too have learned the basics. I too am ready toapprentice.

Where I stand, you stood. The gulf between us consists of time and experience butcan be bridged by your wisdom, my desire and your willingness to risk your timeand some writing assignments on me. I realize I ask more than I dare, but onlybecause you have stood here. You know the agony of waiting for that �Yes!� whichI now hope to hear. Will you, sir, say �Yes�?

Sincerely,

Write down the words that best describe the writing style of this letter:

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Module 1 Good Business Writing Style 5

Legal style (legalese)Avoid writing like a lawyer, even ifyou are one. No laws or rules requirethis hackneyed style. It may be truethat certain legal language has beeninterpreted by the courts and hasspecific meanings under the law, butit has no place in most businesswriting.

Example

Enclosed please find our responsepursuant to your inquiry of Wednesdaylast. We hereby advise you, as per yourrequest, that we will be forwardingsaid refund in due course underseparate cover. (Legalese)

We received your letter written lastWednesday. We agree that you areentitled to a refund and will mail it toyou in a few days. (Plain English)

Bureaucratic styleSome people think that businesswriting must be passive and use bigwords. While on the surface this styleof writing may sound impressive, itactually conveys less meaning becauseit�s ambiguous.

Example

It has been recommended that theorganization prioritize its strategicmanagement objectives before decisionoptions are quantified and thedistribution network is regionalized.(Bureaucratic)

We recommend that the companydecide its business objectives beforetrying to rate the various possiblelocations for its regional distributioncentres. (Plain English)

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Excessive courtesyAvoid inauthentic expressions of friendship, courtesy, or caring. Honesty isrefreshing. Most of us have heard too much of this marketing drivel to think thatit�s genuine.

Example

It has been a pleasure to serve you and we trust that if we can be of anyadditional assistance in the future you will not hesitate to call upon us.(Excessively courteous)

I enjoyed working with you. Call again if you need more help. (Plain English)

Exercise 1: Make this sentence more believable

You�ve reached the offices of A-to-Z Manufacturing. Unfortunately, all of ouroperators are busy at the moment, but please be assured that we value yourbusiness each of our customers is very special to us. Please stay on the line andthe next available operator will be right with you. Again, we value your businessand look forward to serving you!

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Module 1 Good Business Writing Style 7

Abbreviated scientific styleDon�t drop articles or other words, even in procedures. Remove unnecessary wordsfor conciseness, but don�t remove words that are essential to the meaning. Thistelegraphic style is simplistic, irritating, and occasionally ambiguous.

Example

When creating new file, ensure code not assigned to existing file. (Avoid)

When you create a new file, ensure the file name has not been assigned to anotherfile. (Better)

Exercise 2: Add back the missing words

If oil pressure under 40 lb, loosen right-hand banjo screw.

Exercise 3: Top 10 list of attributes of good business writing

Prepare a list of the 10 most important features of good business writing.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

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Say it in plain English

In the last exercise, you listed the 10most important features of goodbusiness writing. Here�s a list of someof the important features of plainEnglish. See how your list compares tothis one. While plain English meansdifferent things to different people,there�s general agreement about thesefeatures.

Plain English guidelines:

1. Write to your readers as thoughyou were talking to them in afriendly, straightforward manner(often called conversational style).

2. Use the same short, everydaywords that you use with friendsand co-workers avoid big fancywords.

3. Use first person (�I� or �we�) orsecond person (�you�) point ofview, where appropriate they�reshorter and more direct thanusing the third person (�he� or�the clerk�).

4. Use short sentences in normalsubject-verb-object sentence order.

5. Prefer active rather than passiveverbs (for example, �I wrote thereport� instead of �the report waswritten�).

6. Use strong verbs (for example,�analyze� instead of �conduct ananalysis of�).

7. Write concisely, removing allunnecessary or redundant words.

8. Use gender-neutral terms (forexample, �firefighter� instead of�fireman�).

9. Use contractions, such as �can�t�and �you�ll,� to make your writingmore conversational.

10. Avoid slang, clichés, and other badhabits of speech.

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Module 1 Good Business Writing Style 9

ToneThe tone of your writing is the feeling that it leaves with the reader and resultsfrom the choices you make as you write. Look at the list of words that describetone. Which tones are you striving for in your writing?

Exercise 4: Writing tone

Circle the words that best describe the tone that you strive for in your businesswriting:

• abrasive• aggressive• assertive• authoritative• blunt• bureaucratic• casual• condescending

• courteous• demanding• distant• earnest• engaging• formal• forthright• friendly

• helpful• honest• impersonal• informal• insulting• informative• objective• officious

• personal• polite• sarcastic• silly• sincere• stiff• subjective• threatening

Guidelines for achieving a friendly,helpful tone:

• Write in the first person (�I� and�we�) or second person (�you�).Avoid the third person (�he� or �thecustomer�), which is cold andimpersonal.

• Write the way you would speak to afriend, and use the simple,everyday words that you would usein normal conversation, minus theslang and other bad habits ofspeech.

• Avoid long and convolutedsentences that are usually onlyfound in writing keep them shortand to the point.

• Avoid passive sentences, whichdon�t mention the real subject.Instead of �Your application hasbeen reviewed�,� write �Wereviewed your application��

Formality

Some documents are more formal thanothers. The most formal are usuallylegislation, legal documents, and policystatements. The least formal areusually memos, emails, and in-housetraining and instruction manuals. Ofcourse, the formality of thesedocuments will vary depending on theauthor, the reader, and yourorganization�s culture. The trend overthe past few decades has been towardsgreater informality in all but a fewtypes of documents. Are yourdocuments more formal than they haveto be?

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10 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Styleguides and style sheetsAll types of writing require you tomake a variety of decisions,particularly if you�re writing longerdocuments, such as reports, proposals,or manuals. Even the mostexperienced writers rely on styleguidesand style sheets to help them writeand format their documentsconsistently.

Styleguides

Organizations that prepare a lot ofdocuments will typically either use apublished styleguide or develop one oftheir own. Even the most experiencedwriters can�t remember all of the rulesand conventions set out in theseessential reference sources. Mostwriters will own several for differentkinds of documents. Keep yourstyleguide beside your dictionary,within arm�s reach of where you write.

Styleguides usually cover:

• word choice• writing style and tone• spelling of certain words• capitalization and hyphenation of

certain words• format and layout of documents• process for preparing documents• how documents should be word

processed

Style sheets

Styleguides are great, as far as theygo, but they won�t cover importantwriting issues such as:

• names, capitalization, spelling, andhyphenation of terms specific toyour industry, organization, orproduct

• formatting standards andguidelines for your documents

• your organization�s process forresearching, writing, editing,reviewing, and approvingpublications

• anything else not covered in thestyleguide you use

This is where style sheets come in.They�re the place where you record theday-to-day decisions you make aboutyour documents. Without them, you�dhave to remember all of the decisionsyou make. And if you have severalpeople working on the same document,style sheets are essential. Often, astyle sheet is just a sheet or two ofpaper pinned to the bulletin board andadded to as you encounter issues andmake decisions.

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Module 1 Good Business Writing Style 11

Some good styleguides:

A Canadian Writer’s Reference, Diana Hacker, ISBN 0-17-604211-3. Not just agreat styleguide of Canadian English, but a book of essential grammarfocusing on typical problem areas, with lots of examples.

Editing Canadian English, Freelance Editors� Association of Canada. ISBN 0-88894-624-4. A relatively compact (about 200 pages) book prepared by and forprofessional editors working in book publishing and other industries, focusingon the problems that Canadian editors face.

Microsoft Manual of Style for Technical Publications, Microsoft Press, ISBN 1-57231-890-2. Microsoft�s own internal styleguide for its software manuals.Microsoft has set the industry standard for Windows-based software, and thisguide sets the standard for technical publications. A must-have for allmanual writers.

Read Me First! - A Style Guide for the Computer Industry, Sun TechnicalPublications, ISBN 0-13-455347-0. Originally the in-house styleguide fortechnical publications at Sun Microsystems. Now, one of the best-knownstyleguides for writers of end-user manuals for the software industry.

Science and Technical Writing - A Manual of Style, Philip Rubens, ISBN 0-415-92551-7. A modern reference of North American conventions that focuses onscientific and technical writing a must for engineers who write, and allwriters of technical manuals and reports.

Style Guide for Business and Technical Communication, Franklin Covey. ISBN 0-9652481-1-9. A comprehensive styleguide intended for the general businesswriter one of the best general styleguides around.

The Canadian Press Stylebook, The Canadian Press, ISBN 0-920009-10-7. Thestyleguide used by many Canadian journalists. These are the conventionsused in most of our papers and magazines, so are the ones most familiar tothe general public.

The Chicago Manual of Style, Editorial staff of the University of Chicago, ISBN 0-226-10390-0. One of the best-known, most respected and, at over 700 pages,most comprehensive styleguides around a definitive reference focusing onbook and academic publishing.

The Elements of Style, Strunk and White, ISBN 0-20530902X. One of the oldestand best-known styleguides, and a model of the style that it preaches itbelongs on every writer�s shelf.

Words into Type, Marjorie Skillin, ISBN 0-13-964262-5. A classic, comprehensivereference source covering the fine points of grammar, usage, style, andproduction methods. Last updated in 1974, but it stands the test of time.

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Module 2 Planning to Write 13

MODULE 2MODULE 2MODULE 2MODULE 2

Planning to Write

A lot of writers just start writingwithout a lot of thought about wherethey�re going. For short documents,like emails and memos, this isn�tusually a problem. But for longerdocuments, such as short reports orproposals, or worse, for manuals orlong reports, the lack of a plan canforce you to make major revisions toyour document once it�s been drafted.Not only is this more time consuming,but often the end result suffers.

Planning begins with asking questionsabout the purpose, objectives, andintended readers of your publication.Why am I writing this document?Who�s going to read it and whatinformation do they need? It�simportant to know the answers tothese questions before you get started.

All writers, from time to time, sufferfrom writer�s block an inability tomake significant progress with theirwriting task. Some writers just giveup, hoping it�ll be better the next day.Business writers, however, usuallydon�t have that option they�ve got toproduce, because their job depends onit! Fortunately, there are time-testedtechniques for making sure thisdoesn�t happen to you techniques likeclustering and outlining.

In this module, you�ll learn how to planyour document, and why the more youknow about your readers, the better offyou�ll be. You�ll also learn sometechniques for generating andorganizing ideas, and how to turnthose ideas into a first draft quickly.

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14 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Decide on your purpose

The first step in writing well is to askyourself why you�re writing. Inbusiness writing, we seldom write forthe sheer joy of it we usually have aspecific purpose. We�ve got a reasonbehind our need to communicatesomething.

Explicit purposes

Consider the typical reasons why youwrite. Without a clearly defined reasonfor writing, it�s difficult to writeanything. How will you know whatinformation to include or how muchdetail is needed? And it�s not onlyimportant to clarify the purpose inyour own mind, but also to make surethat your boss and others involved inthe document agree.

Examples of explicit purposes:

• report a solution to a problem• describe services available to

customers• interpret lab results• provide instructions• ask for permission• initiate a new procedure• order material• change a course of action• submit a bid• ask for a proposal• define a position on policy• propose adoption of a plan• thank a customer• congratulate an employee• announce a change

Implicit purposes

But writing can also have more subtlepurposes that are more felt thanexpressed. These are sometimesreferred to as implicit purposes. Mostbusiness writers will recognize some ofthese underlying purposes they are anormal part of businesscommunications. Can you relate to anyof these purposes?

Examples of implicit purposes:

• to generate trust• to persuade• to deflect blame• to establish your professional

credibility• to demonstrate your objectivity• to generate business

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Module 2 Planning to Write 15

Decide on your objectives Sometimes business documents will have objectivesthere’s something specific that you want to happen. If your document has specific objectives, write them down. Once you’ve finished, you can go back and see whether the document achieved its objectives or not. Establishing specific objectives is one of the ways we use to measure the success of our documents.

Examples of specific objectives:

• be awarded a contract (for proposals)

• get a job interview (for a resume and cover letter)

• allow people to complete a task successfully without help (a procedure)

• allow a technician to diagnose and repair a piece of equipment within a limited period of time (a repair manual)

• allow people to find something they’re looking for (a set of directions)

Warning Label Jamboree: text found on actual warning labels

On the bottom of a box of Tesco’s Tirimisu Dessert:

“Do not turn upside down.”

On a Korean kitchen knife: “Warning — Keep out of children.”

On a Japanese food processor: “Not to be used for the other use.”

On Sainsbury’s Peanuts: “Warning: contains nuts.”

On a Swedish chainsaw: “Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.”

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: “Product will be hot after heating.”

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16 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Understand your readersKnowing your readers youraudience is essential to writing well.Different audiences need differentinformation. Identify precisely who youare writing to. If it�s someone youknow well, it�s easy. If it�s a singlegroup of people (such as technicians),it may be a little harder. If you have avariety of different readers of yourdocument, you have a challenge!

Find out as much as you can aboutyour audience. If you can, go and meetthem or give them a call. Find out whothey are, what their interests are,what makes them tick. Follow themaround until you understand theirinformation needs then write yourdocument. This is often referred to asuser-focused documentation, and isessential to effective business writing.

Exercise 5: Identify and profile your audience

Think about the various kinds of documents that you write and the people whoread them. List 10 things you�d like to know about your readers.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

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Module 2 Planning to Write 17

Reading at workReading for work is different thanreading for pleasure. When reading forpleasure, you usually start at thebeginning, read carefully to savour thelanguage, and read straight through tothe end.

When you read to learn, such asreading a course textbook, you usuallystart at the beginning and readprogressively through the book, evenre-reading if you don�t understand it.And you typically don�t go on to thenext section until you�ve mastered theprevious one, since the later sectionsare often based on the earlier ones.

Not so for most businessdocuments particularly longer ones,like big reports and manuals. Very fewreaders will start at the beginning,and very few will read them cover tocover. Most will skim and scanthrough them, looking for topics ofinterest. For manuals, they�re usuallylooking for information to solve aproblem, answer a question, orcomplete a task.

Even for shorter documents, fewpeople have the time to read themthoroughly. Think about all the thingsthat you haven�t read yet. How do youread business documents? Don�t ignorethis difference in reading styles�design your documents to make iteasier for skimmers and scanners.

Techniques to help skimmers andscanners:

• Organize related informationtogether in the same place (referredto as organizing topically).

• Divide the text into logical chunks(sometimes called chunking).

• Label each topic with a descriptiveheading (up to three headings perpage).

• Create a table of contents, and ifthe document is more than 50pages, an alphabetical index aswell.

• Use presentation techniques, suchas bullet lists, numbered steps,tables, and diagrams, tocommunicate information moreeasily.

• Highlight key words and ideas.

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18 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

ClusteringClustering (sometimes called mindmapping) is a long-practiced techniquefor generating ideas. Many writersfind it valuable during the early stagesof planning as a stepping stone to afirst draft. It can help you identify thetopics for your document and thinkabout the best way to organize them.

Start with a clean sheet of paper.Write the topic that you need to writeabout in the centre and draw a circlearound it. Now sit back and focus onthe topic. You may want to close yourdoor and put your phone on callforward. When an idea occurs to you,don�t be critical write it down, draw acircle around it, and link it to thecentre word.

After a while, if you�re like mostpeople, you�ll have jotted down lots ofideas. Keep going until you can�t thinkof anything else. Now you can sit back

and look objectively at your ideas,sorting them out and thinking abouthow they could be organized. Before,those ideas were drifting around inyour head. Now they�re down on thepage where you can evaluate them.

Of course, it would be difficult to writeusing your cluster diagram at thispoint, because the ideas aren�torganized yet. The next steps are todecide on the document hierarchy(sections and subsections, ifappropriate) and the sequence of topics(what goes first, what goes next). Thenyou�ll be ready to write.

Try creating a cluster diagram and seeif it works for you. Most people findthat it�s worth the few minutes that ittakes to create one.

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Module 2 Planning to Write 19

Exercise 6: Create a cluster diagram for a personal style sheet

Imagine that you do a lot of business writing and want to prepare your ownpersonal style sheet of conventions and standards that will apply to thedocuments you typically write. See how many possible topics you can identify thatmight be part of your personal style sheet. If you�re unsure of what style sheetsare, go back to page 10 on style sheets. Give yourself seven minutes.

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20 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Organize your ideas Before you can write, you must decide the order of the topics. While clustering can help identify topics that need to be included, it won’t tell you how to organize them.

To decide the best method of organization, consider the following:

• How will the information be used (read thoroughly or used as reference)?

• How is this type of information usually organized?

• How do my readers expect me to organize this information?

• How will my readers use this information (for example, to complete a task)?

• Are readers already familiar with this information or does it need to be carefully introduced and explained?

• What is the logical relationship between different parts of the information?

And just because one part of your document is organized a certain way, doesn’t mean it all has to be. One section could be organized top down to explain things easily, while the following sections could be organized topically, or even alphabetically for easy reference.

Signs and Notices From Around the World: Hong Kong Dentist

Hong Kong Tailor

Thai Donkey Ride

Paris Hotel

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Module 2 Planning to Write 21

Organize your documentAlphabetical

Sometimes it�s best to organizeinformation topically, provide akeyword heading, then sequence theheadings alphabetically just theway I�ve organized this section. Thisallows readers to find informationquickly, which is why many referencemanuals are organizedalphabetically. Of course, if you onlyhave a few headings, it�s not much ofan advantage since readers can scanall of the headings quickly. Butalphabetically organizing informationprevents any logical progression fromone heading to the next, so it�s a poorway to explain things.

Bottom up

The results of scientific experiments,lab tests, or anything done byobjective analysis are usuallypresented bottom up that is, thedetails are presented first, and broadconclusions or general statements arepresented last. This reflects one ofthe principles of scientific work thatwe should not begin our evaluationswith foredrawn conclusions.Investigation reports, feasibilitystudies, and analytical reports areusually organized bottomup findings first, conclusions last.

One problem, however, with puttingyour conclusions last is that the endof your documents, particularlylonger ones, is often more poorly readthan the beginning. So to make surethat even your busiest readers seethe conclusions, repeat them at thefront in an executive summary.

Chronological

If the sequence of events is the mostimportant aspect of the information,then organize it chronologically inthe order that events occurred orsteps need to be done. Mostdocuments that describe past events,such as investigative reports, areorganized chronologically. Proceduremanuals and other instructionaldocuments also organize informationchronologically, because proceduresteps usually have to done in a setorder.

Most important to least important

Imagine receiving a letter that beginswith trivial matters and concludes,almost as an afterthought, withsomething important. For shortdocuments, like letters, memos, andemails, you�ll want to begin with themost important topic first to getstraight to the main point. Then, inthe space remaining, you can addressrelated but secondary issues.

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22 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Random

Sometimes there isn’t a good reason to organize information in a particular way. In this case, organize it randomly. The most common form of randomly organized information is the bullet list. Other than bullet lists, information is seldom organized randomly.

Top down

Descriptive information and introductions to new topics are usually organized top downthat is, they begin with broad, general statements and finish with the details (describing the forest before describing the trees). Use this method when you want to introduce a new topic, explain a process, or persuade the reader about something. Your high school essays were probably organized top down if they began with a general introduction (your thesis), then

moved into the details (your arguments). Paragraphs are organized top down if they begin with a topic sentence, which describes the general content of the paragraph, followed by specific details.

Topical

When you write, you may want to group related information together under headings that describe the topic. Organizing information topically ensures that your reader will find all related information together in the same place, rather than scattered throughout the document. As the author, you decide what the topical groupings are, but they should make sense to your readers. Other methods of organization can also apply to information that is grouped topically, because you’ll have to decide the appropriate sequence for the topical groupings.

Signs and Notices From Around the World: Tokyo Car Rental Brochure

Belgrade Hotel Elevator

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Module 2 Planning to Write 23

Outline before you writeOnce you�ve identified the topics youneed to cover and decided the best wayto organize them, then you may wantto prepare an outline. An outline is apreliminary table of contents that willserve as a road map as you write. Itlists the sections of the document inthe order you intend to present them.

For short documents, such as letters,memos, and emails, the outline may beonly a few words. For slightly longerdocuments, such as short reports,proposals, and papers, it may alsoinclude subsections (two levels). Forlong documents, such as manuals andlong reports, it may include sub-subsections as well (three levels).Match the level of the outline to thecomplexity and length of thedocument.

Outlining is a technique that manyprofessional writers use. Not only willit guide your writing, but you can alsoreview it with others interested in thedocument before you get started tomake sure they agree with the topicsyou�re planning to cover and howyou�re going to organize them.

For short documents, identify sections.For slightly longer documents, identifysubsections as well. For longdocuments, consider outlining the sub-subsections.

Example of a document outline

Here�s the outline for the first twomodules of this workshop:

Module 1 Good Business WritingOver-the-top styleLegal style (legalese)Bureaucratic styleAbbreviated scientific styleSay it in plain EnglishToneStyleguides and style sheets

Module 2 Plan to WriteDecide your purposeDecide your objectivesUnderstand your readersReading at workClusteringOrganize your ideasOrganize your documentOutline before you write

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24 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

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Module 3 Writing Strategies 25

MODULE 3MODULE 3MODULE 3MODULE 3

Writing Strategies

MOST writers, even professionals,can�t write perfect, polished prose onthe first go-through. Maybe like you,they find themselves struggling,having to go back through their draftseveral times before they get it right.In fact, most writers will go throughtheir draft at least three times beforethey�re happy.

Writing is a process ofrewriting, rewriting, andrewriting.

The strategies that you use can becritical to the quality of your writing.This module gives you some strategiesto help produce well-written draftsquickly. These are the same strategiesused by professional writers peoplewho have to write well everyday.

Some indications your writingprocess is flawed:

• Writing is a constantstruggle nothing comes out easilyand you don�t enjoy it.

• You often have to go back andreorganize your work.

• Other people always want tochange what you�ve written.

• You often make embarrassingmistakes that you should havecaught.

• It takes you too long to write.

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26 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Write faster and betterSome people struggle over every word,while others write quickly with littleapparent effort. Here are some tips tohelp you be a more productive writer.

Tip 1: Prepare an outline

To write well, you need to know whereyou�re going. Your outline (see page 23)is your map. Without one, you�re lost.

Tip 2: Write, then edit

Don�t try to write and editsimultaneously these tasks should bedone on different passes. If you�reconstantly going back to make changesor correct errors, you�re editing as yougo, which can be disruptive to yourwriting. Many writers find that it�sbetter and faster to write first, withouttrying to make it perfect, then go backlater to edit. That way you won�t keepderailing your train of thought.

Tip 3: Write, revise, and edit

Plan to go through your documentthree times before it�s ready. The firstpass is to draft it. Research and gather

the information you need, then getstarted. Many writers find that theywrite best when they write fast, sodon�t worry about making yourdocument perfect�you can clean it uplater.

The second pass is to revise yourdocument. Focus on the bigproblems poor organization, missingor incorrect information, problems ofclarity, and significant style faults.You may want to rewrite sections orreorganize information.

On the third pass, pay carefulattention to grammar, writing style,usage, and punctuation. If all goeswell, this should be your final pass.

Tip 4: Give yourself a day or twobetween rewrites

You may find that it�s difficult to editsomething that you�ve just written.This relates to your short-termmemory. If you try to edit immediatelyafter writing, you�ve still got all thatinformation circling around in yourhead. But if you give it a day or two,you�ll have lost much of that short-term memory, and you�ll find it easierto revise and edit.

Tip 5: Read out loud

When you�re close to finished, readyour document out loud and listen toit. Your ear will tell you if problemsremain. It�s also a great way of tellingwhether it�s conversational or not.

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Module 3 Writing Strategies 27

Design a hierarchyIf you�re writing a letter, memo, oremail, it won�t have a hierarchy. Evenif it has headings (which is okay if itruns longer than a page or two), theheadings will simply identify the mainsections you won�t need subsections.

If you�re writing a longer document,however, it will likely have ahierarchy that is, you�ll probablydivide it into sections and subsections,and maybe even sub-subsections.Without a hierarchy, readers will findit difficult to form a clear mentalmodel of the document, and will takelonger to find information. A clear andlogical hierarchy is essential for allkinds of longer business documents.

Don�t be tempted to create morecomplicated hierarchies mostprofessionally prepared documentsseldom go deeper than three or fourlevels. Any deeper and you�ll start toconfuse the reader.

To make the heading hierarchyapparent to the reader, you�ll want tomake the section headings look

different than the subsection andsub-subsection headings. Readersshould be able to tell at a glance thelevel of the heading by its typographicattributes. Headings should beformatted using your word processor�sstyles feature.

Heading hierarchy

Heading 1Heading 2

Heading 3

Rules for logical headinghierarchies:

• Avoid single headings within asection�always have two or moreheadings.

• Avoid having one heading followanother without any interveningtext.

• Don�t skip levels (don�t have aHeading 1 followed by aHeading 3).

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28 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Paragraph frequentlyParagraphing visually organizesrelated information together. This isone of the ways writers chunkinformation. When you move to thenext topic, start a new paragraph.

The average number of sentences in aparagraph in a business document isonly three or four. Avoid longparagraphs they intimidate readers.And never have an entire pageconsisting of one paragraph. If youwant to break up a paragraph, read it

through carefully, looking for a changein the topic. You may have to move asentence or two.

Begin each paragraph with a topicsentence. Place the most generalsentence first, then go into thedetails most paragraphs have a top-down structure.

It�s okay to let paragraphs breakacross pages just avoid single lines atthe top or bottom of the page.

Exercise 7: Break up this long paragraph

Limit paragraphs to a single topic or idea. If you find yourself covering severaltopics, you probably need several paragraphs. It�s better to have too manyparagraphs than too few. Don�t let paragraphs get too long. Most professionalwriters will average only three or four sentences in a paragraph. Ones that spanlarge areas of the page intimidate readers. Make sure that the opening sentenceintroduces or summarizes the content of the paragraph. This type of openingsentence is often referred to as the topic sentence. The sentences that followshould flow from the first sentence and provide supporting details. Organizeparagraphs into a logical sequence. This sequence might be broadest tonarrowest, most important to least important, or chronological, depending on thenature of the information. If appropriate, replace paragraphs with bulletlists they�re easier for readers to scan. Avoid including more than three listitems in a paragraph. If the items are steps in a procedure, use numbers instead.

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Module 3 Writing Strategies 29

Use informative headingsHeadings tell readers about theinformation that follows. Particularlyfor readers who are skimming andscanning for information, having lotsof descriptive headings is important.

Use topical headings � Use headingsthat describe the topic, not the type ofinformation. If the section relates to atask, use the -ing form of the word (forexample, �Printing Your Document�).

Use lots of headings � Aim for two orthree headings on each page. It�susually better to have too manyheadings than too few. If you�ve got apage without any headings, go backand see if you could insert someheadings to group and identify theparagraphs. You may have to moveparagraphs around. The only exceptionmight be letters, memos, or emailsthat are a page or two long.

Keep headings short � Limit thenumber of words in a heading to fouror five if possible. Longer headings,particularly ones that wrap onto asecond line, are difficult to scanquickly.

Avoid numbering headings �Authors will sometimes numberheadings to make their place in thedocument hierarchy more apparent(for example, �6.2, Timing ofReorganization�). This is onlyappropriate when it�s important to beable to refer to specific sectionsexactly, such as in specifications orstandards documents.

Make headings parallel � Constructsimilar headings in a similar way. Forexample, if one heading starts with animperative verb, then make them allstart with an imperative verb (that�sthe way these headings are written).

Capitalize appropriately � Decidehow you�ll capitalize headings, then doit consistently. You can use thejournalism convention of capitalizingonly the first word (the way mostheadings are capitalized in this book),or you can capitalize all of the majorwords, except articles (such as �the �)and short prepositions (such as �on,��in,� and �by�).

Headings to avoidAvoid headings that describe the type of information rather than the topic, suchas:

• Overview• General• More Information• Discussion• Results• Basics• Advanced Features

• Miscellaneous• Policies• Procedures• Standards• Guidelines• Conclusions• Reference

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30 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Present information graphicallyDifferent types of information lendthemselves to different methods ofpresentation. Don�t automaticallywrite paragraph after paragraph. Mostpeople prefer graphic informationinstead of written information. Look atyour own preferences. Would yourather look at a picture or readparagraphs of text? Would you ratherread a paragraph or scan a bullet list?

Graphic information is usually:

• less intimidating to the reader• easier to scan to find information• easier to understand and act on

Use photographs to show readers whatthings look like.

As you�re drafting, decide which partsof the information would be betterpresented as a graphic. If you decidethat a bullet list, table, or numberedprocedure would be better, you canprobably create these yourself. If it�s agraphic or icon, you might be able touse clip-art. If it�s a technical

illustration or photograph, however,you may need some help.

Think of yourself as acommunicator, not a writer.

Ways to present information:

• bullet lists• checklists• text boxes• sidebar text (words pulled out into

a wide margin)• tables• numbered lists (usually a

procedure)• flow diagrams• decision trees• form or screen illustrations• clip art• graphics• warnings, cautions, and notes• photographs

A

PreparePurchase

Order

211Purchase

OrderPurchase

Order

File

Consultant Finance Department

Use flow diagrams to outline a process.

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Module 3 Writing Strategies 31

Edit for clarityEditing is carefully reviewing adocument to verify that it meetsappropriate language, usage, andformatting standards. While you canedit your own work, it�s usually betterto have someone else do it we areoften blind to our own errors. Manybusiness writers have an arrangementwith another person to edit eachother�s writing.

The longer and more complex thedocument, the more important andmore structured editing shouldbecome. Editing someone�s letter maytake only a minute or two; editingtheir manual could take weeks.

Things to check:

• completeness and accuracy• appropriate organization of

information• information presented graphically

where appropriate• consistent point of view and

writing style• text written in plain English• clear and descriptive headings• correct spelling and grammar• accurate page references (such as

table of contents and cross-references)

• appropriate conventions fornumbers and units of measure

• consistency throughout• conciseness, with redundant and

unnecessary words removed• proper formatting and word

processing

Tips:

• Don�t try to catch everything onone pass. Go through severaltimes, looking for different thingseach time.

• Once you notice a problem, lookspecifically for that problemelsewhere.

• Use, but don�t rely on,computerized spelling and stylecheckers.

• Don�t edit exclusively on thescreen some problems are easierto spot in print.

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32 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Editing etiquette:

• Offer constructive suggestions—don’t criticize.

• Suggest changes where possible—don’t just say “this is wrong.”

• Only change errors or things that can be improved—don’t simply substitute your wording. Have a reason for every change.

• Point out positive aspects of the writing too (Gee, I really liked the introduction!).

• When you’re being edited, don’t take offence and challenge the editor.

Exercise 8: Editing challenge

Can you find the 12 errors in the following paragraph?

If you don’t have a professsional editor available, you’re best writer will have to due. Or consider contracting the services of a professional editortheir services can we worth their wait in gold. Writer’s should not edit their own writing, because they are often blind to their own erros. After an edit, the editor and writer should review the changes together. This will help the writer understand reasons behind the changes. A styleguide should be use to sort out differences of opinion

Signs and Notices From Around the World: Moscow Hotel (across from a monestary)

Zurich Hotel

Yugoslav Hotel

Copenhagen Airline Ticket Office

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Module 3 Writing Strategies 33

Review and approvalsMost business writing iscollaborative that is, you work withothers to prepare, review, and approveyour documents. Having other peoplereview, edit, and approve your work ispart of the normal writing process inbusiness.

For letters, memos, and other shortdocuments, reviews and approvals maybe quick and simple. But for longerdocuments, such as long reports andmanuals, the technical review andapproval process must be carefullyplanned to ensure that it�s thoroughand doesn�t delay completion of thedocument.

Review options

Think about the pros and cons of thesedifferent approaches:

• Send reviewers a print copy tomark up and return.

• Give reviewers access to the wordprocessor file and let them maketheir changes themselves.

• Invite reviewers to a meeting todiscuss their comments on thedraft.

• Invite reviewers to a meeting tointroduce the draft and carefullywalk them through the contents.

Tips for successful reviews:

• limit the number of reviewers• provide reviewers with clear

instructions• give reviewers a reasonable

deadline• follow up to ensure reviews are

done• keep the size of the document small

(large documents are seldomreviewed carefully)

Longer documents should probably gothrough at least three rounds ofreviews before they�re finalized:

• initial technical review withprimary subject experts

• section-by-section general reviewwith stakeholders

• final review of completed documentwith key staff

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34 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

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Module 4 Words and Sentences 35

MODULE 4MODULE 4MODULE 4MODULE 4

Words and Sentences

WHILE different people define plainEnglish in different ways, most writersagree that two key aspects are the useof plain, everyday words and shortsentences, preferably in normalsubject-verb-object order.

In business writing you�re usuallytrying to communicate and not toimpress, so you should avoid the morecomplicated words and sentencestructures that are available inEnglish. Back in high school, you mayhave been encouraged to demonstrateyour growing vocabulary and masteryof sentence syntax in your writing.

Doing this correctly would usuallyimprove your mark, and maybe yourfinal grade. In business writing,however, your goal is almost always tocommunicate quickly and clearly to abroad range of readers andsometimes to people whose firstlanguage is not English.

In this module, you�ll learn about theimportance of word choice andsentence length to communicatingclearly. You�ll also learn about the fogindex, a formula that you can use tomeasure the clarity of a sample ofwriting based solely on word choiceand sentence length.

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36 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

What’s the fog index?The fog index was developed years agoas a way to quickly evaluate the clarityof a sample of writing. While it onlymeasures word choice and sentencelength, the results are worthconsidering because these two aspectsof writing are widely considered to begood indicators of writing quality.

One of the reasons for the popularity ofthis formula is that the resultingnumber equates to the minimumgrade-school reading level required to

read the writing easily. In other words,if the result is 12, it means that youhave to be reading at a grade 12 levelto read it easily.

Some people believe strongly in the fogindex and have used it to measure theclarity of different types of documents,including popular magazines. Onecomprehensive study tried the formulaon a variety of popular magazines (seeresults below).

Fog index of various magazines

Fog Index Reading Level Magazine

17 Graduate studies16 Fourth-year university15 Third-year university14 Second-year university13 First-year university

Very few popular magazinesare this difficult

12 Grade 1211 Grade 11

Atlantic, Harper, Fortune

10 Time, Newsweek9 Reader’s Digest8

General public is considered to readin this range

Tabloids

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Module 4 Words and Sentences 37

Fog index calculationHere�s the formula for calculating thefog index for a sample of writing. Itcan be used on any sample of writingof any length. A few typicalparagraphs are usually enough.Review the formula, then try it on thewriting samples.

1. Divide the total number of wordsby the total number of sentencesto determine the averagenumber of words in a sentence.

2. Calculate the percentage ofwords with three or moresyllables (the hard words). Don�tcount:

− capitalized words− combinations of small words− verb forms, such as �created�− technical words

3. Add the average number ofwords in a sentence to thepercentage of hard words. Treatthe percentage as a wholenumber (for example, if it�s 14%,add 14).

4. Multiply by 0.4.

Formula

(A + P) x 0.4 = fog index

A = Average words in a sentenceP = Percentage of hard words

A: Average number ofwords in a sentence

P: + Percentage of hardwords

=

x 0.4

=

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38 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Exercise 9: Calculate the fog index

Sample 1

During the study, information on the Pops Rivet operation and certain aspects ofthe fastener market was gathered and processed with a view of giving detailedconsideration to those aspects most closely related to the needs of a salescompensation plan. The company sales pattern (both historically and current)was analyzed and summarized. A field survey relating to blind rivet application,company policies and personnel, including some general observations, was thenconducted. Statistics on the total fastener market were collected. A study wasmade of the industry compensation scale for salesmen comparable in abilities andbackground to present Pops salesmen.

(100 words)

Sample 2

During our study, we considered the needs of a sales compensation plan at PopsRivets. We studied both the Company and the total fastener market. Within theCompany, we examined policies, personnel, and sales patterns both past andpresent. We surveyed the fastener market, gathered statistics and looked into theapplication of blind rivets. We also inquired into compensation scales incompanies comparable to the Pops operation.

(67 words)

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Module 4 Words and Sentences 39

Writing points of viewYou can choose from three differentpoints of view in your writing: firstperson, second person, and thirdperson.

First person (“I” and “we”)

Write reports and correspondence ineither first person singular (�I�) orplural (�we�). Maybe you were told atsome point to avoid using yourself asthe subject that this wasn�t objective.Much routine business writing is nowwritten in the first person. It�sstraightforward, shorter, and lets thereader know who performed the action.Don�t avoid first-person writing.

Example

The situation has been reviewed andthe following problems have beenfound. (Passive, longer)

I have reviewed the situation andfound the following problems.(First person, shorter)

Second person (“you”)

Write instructions in the secondperson (�you�). Many people avoidaddressing the reader as you.Particularly outside North America,it�s sometimes considered to be toodirect, too personal. The alternative,however, is usually either passive(with no subject) or third person (�he,��they,� or worse, �one�).

Addressing the reader as you is notonly commonplace now, but almostuniversal in instructionalwriting anywhere you want to tellyour reader to do something. It�sconcise and makes clear what actionsthe reader needs to take. Don�t avoidsecond-person writing. This book iswritten in the second person.

Example

More information can be found in theappendix. (Passive)

You�ll find more information in theappendix. (Second person)

The imperative style is written in thesecond person but without using �you.�It�s direct and concise. Each sentencenormally begins with a verb, such as�type� or �complete.� Imperative istypically used in procedure writing,when addressing the reader as �you�would be repetitive.

Example

To join the society, complete theapplication form and send a copy tonational headquarters. Attach acheque for your first year�s fees.(Imperative)

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40 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Try one: Rewrite in the imperative

In order to see a list of assigned access codes, it is necessary that you type FIL atthe command line.

Third person (“he” and “they”)

Write in the third person when neitheryou nor the reader are involved in theaction. For example, use the thirdperson if you are writing to one personand discussing another person. Butnever write in the third person whenyou�re talking about the reader it�simpersonal and bureaucratic.

Example

Clerks must process contractorinvoices within 30 days. If they haveany questions, they should contact thecost centre manager.

Exercise 10: Put “I” and “we” in your writing

Rewrite the following sentences using either �I� or �we� as the subject:

1. Errors were made in processing the payroll.

2. The report had to be edited and converted to HTML before it could go on theintranet.

3. The arbitration was not going well so the best negotiator was called in.

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Module 4 Words and Sentences 41

Exercise 11: Put “you” in your writing

Rewrite the following sentences addressing the reader as �you� (and make themplain English):

1. Prior to the completion of the report, it is important to check the cross-references for accuracy.

2. In the solicitation of review comments, it is necessary to allocate anappropriate period of time.

3. Modifications to the annual report are not easy to facilitate once it has beenprinted.

4. Analysis of the information requirements of staff could conceivably impactthe current methodology of technical manual distribution.

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42 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Sentence lengthLong sentences are tough to read. Mostreaders prefer short sentences,particularly skimmers andscanners typical business readers.Some writers use a rule of 25 to 30words. Others simply avoid joiningindependent clauses (completesentences) together, usually with aconjunction. Instead, they create twosentences.

Avoid using semicolons to join relatedindependent clauses. In businesswriting, they�re seldom needed. Andmost of your readers will notunderstand the meaning of asemicolon. Use two sentences instead.

Types of sentencesAvoid complicated sentence structureswhen a simple one will do. Thesimplest sentences are the easiest toread.

Simple sentences

Simple sentences consist of a subject, averb, and an object.

Example

I fired him.(Subject-verb-object)

Complex sentences

Complex sentences consist of a mainclause (independent clause) and asubordinate clause (dependent clause).

Example

Because I hired him, I had to fire him.

Compound sentences

Compound sentences consist of at leasttwo independent clauses, often joinedby a conjunction.

Example

I fired 28 employees this year, andnext year I hope to fire even moreemployees.

Compound-complex sentences

Compound-complex sentences consist ofleast two independent clauses and atleast one dependent clause.

Example

I fired 28 employees this year(independent clause), and next yearI hope to fire even more employees(independent clause) because that�spart of my job (dependent clause).

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Module 4 Words and Sentences 43

Exercise 12: Shorten long sentences

Divide the following sentences into two or more shorter sentences:

We are prepared to cooperate with your consultants in the preparation of aschedule, but we insist on maintaining complete control of the work as outlined inArticle 12 of the General Conditions of the Contract and any such schedule mustbe prepared in a manner and form suitable to use as a tool and guide tomanagement for all construction operations on the site.

The facts clearly indicate that motor cars with faulty brakes are being driven onour streets and highways yet government officials have not taken action toprotect the responsible motorist and the general public.

The shipping clerk may have only a vague notion of what happens to the fourcopies of the bill of lading forwarded to the sales order and billing departments;however, this will not affect the clerk�s ability to assess a proposedrecommendation about internal control.

We find the division of business into accounting systems a convenient structurefor evaluating internal control, although management may view its businessdifferently, perhaps in terms of areas of functional responsibilities.

Exercise 13: Break up very long sentences

Rewrite the following 62-word sentence into several shorter sentences:

Our proposal, while indicative of the general approach we would take if we wereawarded the contract to write and produce the annual report, does not specificallyaddress the time and costs that would be required to complete the project becausenot enough substantive information was provided in the request for proposal,which was sent to us by registered mail on January 2.

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44 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Word choiceWord choice is critical to readerfriendliness, and is one of the twoaspects of writing measured by the fogindex. If you use the same everydaywords that you use in normalconversation, you�ll be writing in plainEnglish.

The English language has a largevocabulary the Canadian OxfordDictionary defines 120,000 words. Yet,so many of these words are not in day-to-day use. For every common word,there are usually a half dozen or moresynonyms with essentially the samemeaning.

Avoid words that are:

• not used regularly in conversation(�obfuscate�)

• legal sounding (�pursuant to�)• too big for the job

(�contemporaneous�)• clichés (�despite the fact that�)• from foreign languages (�ipso

facto�)

Instead of… Use…

approximately aboutcompensate paydisseminate send, distributepertaining to of, aboutprior to beforeshall willsubsequent afterunder theprovisions of

under

utilize useverbose wordy

Technical terminology

When choosing words, carefullyconsider the needs of new employeesand those using English as theirsecond language.

Before using a technical term, consideryour readers. Will they understand it?Technical terminology has its place itspeeds communication between peoplewho share the same technicalbackground and expertise. For others,however, technical terms are justmeaningless words. The more expertyou become at a subject, the morelikely you�ll be tempted to usetechnical terms.

Here are some technical terms fromdifferent areas:

Legal Medical

real propertyconveyanceplaintifflicensee

contusionhaemorrhageradiusinfarction

Computer Accounting

windowRAMinterfaceuser ID

accrualtrial balancedebit/creditledger

Even if your readers will likely know aterm, define it the first time you use it.It doesn�t have to be a formaldefinition.

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Module 4 Words and Sentences 45

Example of informal definition of technical term

“The radius, the thicker and shorter of the two bones in the forearm, is…”

Notice in the above example that the word radius is in italics. This is the normal way to indicate that you are discussing or defining a word and not using it.

Longer technical publications also benefit from a glossary, a dictionary-like listing of technical terms and their definitions. Even if your readers don’t see the definition in the text, they can always turn to the glossary.

Acronyms

Acronyms consist of the initial letters of compound terms (like DOS, for Disk Operating System). Avoid them when

you’re not sure that all of your readers will know what they stand for. The only exception would be when the acronym is more commonly used than the full term (such as “scuba”) or is so widely used that everyone will know what it stands for (such as “USA”). Never create acronyms for your own convenience.

When you do use acronyms, spell them out the first time with the acronym in parentheses following, then use the acronym after that.

Example

This heating ventilating and air conditioning (HVAC) distributor has designed a software program for its HVAC engineers.

Signs and Notices From Around the World: Budapest Zoo

Czechoslovak Tourist Agency

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46 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Frank Lingua, the nation�s leading purveyor of buzzwords and catch phrases,interviewed by Business Finance contributing editor Dan Danbom.

Danbom: Is being a cliché expert a full-time job?

Lingua: Bottom line is I have a full plate 24/7.

Danbom: Is it hard to keep up with the seemingly endless supply of clichés thatspew from business?

Lingua: Some days, I don�t have the bandwidth.

Danbom: So it�s difficult?

Lingua: Harder than nailing Jell-O to the wall. That�s why I have to circle back topartner and expose the key learnings.

Danbom: Give us a new buzzword that we�ll be hearing.

Lingua: �Enronitis� could be a next-generation player. I also like �criticality.�

Danbom: Do people understand your role as a cliché expert?

Lingua: No, they can�t get their arms around that. But they aren�t incented to.

Danbom: Did incomprehensibility come naturally to you?

Lingua: I wasn�t wired that way, but it became mission-critical as I strategicallyfocused on my go-forward plan.

Danbom: How do you stay ahead of others in the buzzword industry?

Lingua: Net-net, my value proposition is based on maximizing synergies andbeing first to market with a leveraged, value-added deliverable.

Danbom: Do you read �Dilbert� in the newspaper?

Lingua: My knowledge base is deselective of fiber media.

Danbom: Does that mean �no�?

Lingua: Negative.

Danbom: DOES THAT MEAN "NO"?

Lingua: Our research shows your consumer mindset is tilting on a negative axisLet�s circle back and discuss this offline.

Danbom: I hate you.

Lingua: Take it and run with it.

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Module 4 Words and Sentences 47

Buzzword generator

This popular buzzword generator can create thousands of meaningless terms. Becareful that your writing doesn�t sound like it came from one.

To use, choose a word from column A, another word from column B, and a finalword from column C.

Column A Column B Column C

integrated management optionstotal organizational communicationstructured monitored securityparallel reciprocal mobilityfunctional digital programmingresponsive logical softwareoptional transitional time-phasesynchronized 5th generation projectioncompatible incremental hardwarebalanced analog firmware

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48 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Exercise 14: Use everyday words

Replace the underlined words with simple, everyday words:

the commencement date is August 1

we will have to remunerate you

the methodology is under review

they utilized the photocopier

she obtained the proper forms

they ascertained that

he was cognizant of the fact that

subsequent to our meeting

she replied in the affirmative

the expenditure was approximately $50

If Dr. Seuss Wrote Technical Manuals for Computers

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort, and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, and your data is corrupted ‘cause the index doesn’t hash, then your situation’s hopeless and your system’s gonna crash.

If the label on the cable on the table at your house says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, but your packets want to tunnel on another protocol, that’s repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall, and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, so the icons in the window are as wavy as a souse, then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang, ‘cause as sure as I’m a poet, the sucker’s gonna hang.

When the copy of your floppy’s getting sloppy on the disk and the macrocode instructions cause unnecessary risk, then you have to flash your memory and you’ll want to RAM your ROM, quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!

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Module 4 Words and Sentences 49

Sentence orderSubject-verb-object sentence orderworks best because it:

• is easiest to understand (subjectfirst, action second, and object ofthe verb last)

• minimizes the number of words

• uses active verbs

Example

Consultants appreciate respect.(Subject-verb-object)

Respect is appreciated by consultants.(Object-verb-subject)

While subject-verb-object is thepreferred sentence order, all sentencesshould not be forced into this order.Some variation is normal and dependson:

• the information you have to convey

• the order of the previous sentences(sometimes you�ll want to use thesame order, other times you�ll wantto vary it)

• how well established the subject is(you may not want to continuallyrepeat the subject)

• whether your focus is the subject,the verb (the action), or the object

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50 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Active and passive verbsActive sentences are ones that include a subject (the doer of the action), and thesubject is placed before the verb. Passive sentences either have no subject, or thesubject is placed after the verb.

Active sentences Passive sentences

They hold a patent. (4 words) A patent is held by them. (6 words)

The GST has complicated accounting.(5 words)

Complications in accounting have beencaused by the GST. (9 words)

The partners decided to pay consultantsmore money. (8 words)

A decision was made by the partners topay consultants more money.(12 words)

Reasons to use active sentences:

• easiest to understand (subject first,action second, and object of the verblast)

• clear and direct

• minimizes the number of words

• avoids weak passive verbs (�is held�instead of �hold�)

So what�s wrong with passive?Nothing, unless all of your sentencesare passive, in which case, yourwriting will be weaker and wordierthan it needs to be. While most goodwriters prefer active sentences, theywill naturally alternate back and forthbetween active and passive sentences.

Reasons to use passive sentences:

• the subject is already wellestablished

• you don�t want to point the finger ofblame at someone

• you want to focus on the action, notwho did it

Example

A serious accounting error was made.(Appropriate use of passive)

Notice in the above example that thewriter has not named the person whomade the accounting error. This mightbe very prudent!

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Module 4 Words and Sentences 51

Exercise 15: Use active verbs

Rewrite the following sentences in the active voice:

No option has been selected by the committee.

Error messages are found in the appendix.

Omissions were discovered during the word processing of the report.

The transition is intended to produce no disruption of service.

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52 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Use strong verbsStrong verbs are usually weakened when they are made into nouns. In mostcases, you can strengthen the sentence, and cut out unnecessary words, by simplyletting the original verb function as the verb.

Exercise 16: Avoid weak verbs

Instead of… Use…

give an answer to

reach a conclusion

do an inspection

raise an objection

send an invitation to

provide a solution

form a plan

conduct an analysis

make a distinction

have knowledge of

make a proposal

hold a meeting

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Module 4 Words and Sentences 53

Verb tensesThese are the basic verb tenses:

Verb tense Example

past I wrotepresent I writefuture I will writepast perfect I had writtenpresent perfect I have writtenfuture perfect I will have written

Use past tense for:

• investigative reports (�We foundthat��)

• performance reviews (�Joeperformed his job well��)

• results of tests and experiments(�The questionnaire showedthat��)

• references to other documents(�The annual reportdocumented��)

• other backward-looking documents

Use present tense for:

• policies (�Applicants areevaluated��)

• procedures and instructions (�Theclerks process the form��)

• most letters, memos, and emails(�I�m happy to tell you that��)

• scientific facts and other truths(�Water freezes at 0°C.�)

• data within a report (�Thefrequency increases witheducation.�)

Use future tense for:

• plans (�The company will open twonew branches��)

• other forward-looking documents

Most business writing uses either past,present, or future tense. The perfecttenses are used less frequently. Youmay have been told in school not tomix verb tenses. Actually, you can aslong as you use tenses consistently andthey reflect the actual timerelationships.

Examples

The executive stayed (past) in theoffice while the staff picket (present).(No, inconsistent)

The executive stayed (past) in theoffice while the staff picketed (past).(Yes, consistent)

It is (present) our policy that onceyou have received (past perfect) thereport, you will be able to (future)submit review comments.(Yes, because it reflects actualtime relationships)

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54 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Examples of unclear writingExamples of unclear writingExamples of unclear writingExamples of unclear writingThese sentences are actual examplestaken from letters received by awelfare department.

�I am forwarding my marriagecertificate and six children. I haveseven, but one was baptized on a halfsheet of paper.�

�Mrs. Jones has not had any clothes fora year and has been visited by theclergy regularly.�

�I cannot get sick pay, I have sixchildren. Can you tell me why?�

�I am glad to report that my husbandwho was missing is dead.�

�This is my eighth child. What are yougoing to do about it?�

�In answer to your letter, I have givenbirth to a boy weighing ten pounds. Ihope this is satisfactory.�

�I want my money as quick as I can getit, I�ve been to bed with the doctor fortwo weeks and he doesn�t do me anygood. If things don�t improve I willhave to send for another doctor.�

�I am forwarding my marriagecertificate and three children, one ofwhich is a mistake as you can see.�

�My husband got his project cut off twoweeks ago and I haven�t had any reliefsince.�

�Unless I get some money soon, I will beforced to lead an immortal life.�

�You have changed my little boy to agirl. Will this make any difference?�

�I have no children yet as my husband isa truck driver and works day andnight.�

�In accordance with your instructions, Ihave given birth to twins in the enclosedenvelope.�

�I am very much annoyed to find youhave branded my son illiterate. This is adirty lie as I was married a week beforehe was born.�

�Please find for certain if my husband isdead. The man I am now living withcan�t eat or do anything until he knows.�

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Module Five 20 Rules of Plain English 55

MODULE 5MODULE 5MODULE 5MODULE 5

20 Rules of Plain English

NOW that you�ve mastered the basicsof plain English, you�ll want to learnmore of the rules. This module covers20 of the most important rules toremember as you write. These are therules that most writing styleguidesagree on.

Of course, rules are meant to bebroken, and these are no exception.The rules are meant to provide youwith useful guidelines to help youmake writing decisions not to befollowed slavishly.

20 key rules:

• write in parallel ways• keep related words together• use prepositions with care• distinguish �which� from �that�• avoid surplus nouns• avoid noun and modifier strings• use pronouns with care• avoid slang• be gender neutral• be specific• avoid clichés• place modifiers carefully• avoid unnecessary qualification• use contractions• be concise• avoid foreign words• capitalize properly• abbreviate with care• write numbers consistently• ignore some old rules

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56 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Write in parallel waysParallelism means being consistent inhow you structure your writing. Onceyou establish a pattern, use it.Parallelism makes reading faster andeasier.

Examples: Parallel sentences

Originally, writing was taught byanalysis, while now a synthesisapproach is used. (Not parallel)

Originally, writing was taught byanalysis; now it is taught by synthesis.(Parallel)

The evaluation report was writtenoutlining the case study and with alist of contributors. (Not parallel)

The evaluation report was writtenoutlining the case study and listingthe contributors. (Parallel)

Keep items in a list parallel. Each itemshould be constructed in a similar wayand start with the same kind of word,such as a noun or verb. If one item is awhole sentence, they all should be.

Example: Not parallel list

Students must bring the followingitems:

• styleguide• bring pencils and pens• You should bring a word processor.

Example: Parallel list

Students must bring the followingitems:

• styleguide• pencils and pens• word processor

Exercise 17: Make the last three items parallel to the first

The plan is deficient because:

• the budget was not prepared

• Two major cost items were not identified.

• staffing not approved

• other errors

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Module Five 20 Rules of Plain English 57

Keep related words togetherKeep related words together�otherwise confusion and ambiguity may result.

Examples

She noticed a cigarette burn on the desk that was right in the centre.(No, right in the centre of what?)

She noticed a cigarette burn on the centre of the desk. (Yes)

He wrote three pages on how to use the computer for the user manual.(No, not just for the computer manual)

He wrote three pages for the user manual on how to use the computer. (Yes)

Try one

The president said she hoped all employees would give generously to the charityat a staff meeting today.

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58 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Use prepositions with carePrepositions are words that connect orrelate nouns and pronouns to otherwords. They can relate thingsspatially, in time, or figuratively.

Some common prepositions:

• about • according to• at • across• beneath • down• by • for• of • into• on • next to• through • on top of• to • over• with • up

For years, many students were told notto end sentences with prepositions (adangling preposition). This is a rulethat you should ignore. English hasalways had sentences that end withprepositions.

Examples

That�s a behaviour we can�t put upwith.

That�s an area we don�t want to getinto.

He�s the consultant you spoke about.

This is the styleguide they referred to.

Winston Churchill was once correctedby a senior army officer for ending asentence with a preposition. His reply

was, �That is the sort of English upwith which I will not put.� His replypokes fun at the awkward sentencesthat often result if you try to avoidending a sentence with a preposition.

Examples of bad fixes

That�s an area into which we don�twant to get.

He�s the consultant about whom youspoke.

This is the styleguide about whichthey referred.

If your sentences sometimes sound likethese, are you avoiding placing apreposition at the end? Many writersdo, but don�t realize that�s what they�redoing.

Omit prepositions if you can withoutchanging the meaning. In the followingexamples, the underlined prepositionsare unnecessary and can be omitted.

Examples

All of the managers went to themeeting.

We moved the files off of the server.

The study area is too near to thecafeteria.

We began at about 9:00 a.m.

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Module Five 20 Rules of Plain English 59

Distinguish “which” from “that”Use �which� to introduce non-restrictive clauses clauses that don�tnarrow or restrict the meaning. Suchclauses could be put into parenthesesor removed entirely without alteringthe essential meaning of the sentence.

Use �that� for restrictiveclauses clauses that narrow orrestrict the meaning. Such clauses arealways integral to the sentence, andcould not be put into parentheses orremoved entirely without altering theessential meaning of the sentence.

�Which� and �that� are punctuateddifferently. Because �which� introducesa clause that could be placed in

parentheses, it is preceded with acomma. But because �that� introducesa clause that�s integral to the sentenceand could not be placed inparentheses, it is not preceded with acomma.

Example

We rejected the last proposal, whichwas sent by fax. (The rejectedproposal happens to have beenfaxed)

We rejected the last proposal that wassent by fax. (But not necessarily thelast proposal)

Exercise 18: “Which” and “that”

Review each sentence and decide if �which� and �that� are used correctly:

The manager plans to take us to the new Thai restaurant that is in our old officebuilding.

Penticton, which lies within the Okanagan Valley, is shown on the attached map.

The proposal, which we liked best, was from Acme Printing and Binding.

The Committee reviewed the best plans that were submitted.

We could not find the digital file, which was missing.

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60 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Avoid surplus nounsAvoid nouns that don�t add meaning orprecision. Watch out for:

• approach • location• area • environment• concept • situation• condition • type

Example

They were interested in thedecentralized decision-makingconcept. (No)

They were interested in decentralizeddecision making. (Yes)

Try one

The meeting was delayed by the courier shortage situation.

Avoid noun and modifier stringsAvoid stringing nouns or modifierstogether. Even two-word strings canbe taken in several ways. How manydifferent meanings can you think offor �management option�?

Instead, unstack strings to make themeaning clear. Before you usestrings, ask yourself if all yourreaders will know what you�re talkingabout.

Instead of… Write…

component reference designators designators for referring to componentsmarketing plan analysis analysis of the marketing planlong-range failure prevention program long-range program for preventing

failurestypical user interface problem area areas where users typically have

problems

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Module Five 20 Rules of Plain English 61

Exercise 19: Rewrite the following noun and modifier strings so theirmeaning is clear

problem responsibility changes

ad hoc report generation utility

obsolete cardholder file

operator-induced failure-rate increase problem

non-literate personnel manager

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62 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Use pronouns with careA pronoun is a word that represents anoun. The noun that it refers back to isits antecedent. Here are some commonpronouns:

• I • they • it• you • which • this• he • them • that• she • their • one

Pronouns force readers to rememberthe antecedent. In some cases, theantecedent may not be clear.

Example

The manager�s expense reports wereincomplete and were beyond theper diem rates set out in theSuperintendent�s policy guidelines.This prevented them from beingprocessed. (Antecedents not clear)

The manager�s expense reports wereincomplete and were beyond theper diem rates set out in theSuperintendent�s policy guidelines.The lack of completion prevented thereports from being processed. (Clear)

Personal pronouns

Don�t be afraid to use personalpronouns, particularly �I,� �we,� and�you.� They give your writing a naturalhuman quality. See Person, page 115).

Some writers get confused betweensubjective and objective cases ofpronouns.

Example

I gave him the file, but he gave menothing. (Okay)

Bob and me went over the figurestogether (No, “Bob and I”)

The above example is confusingbecause of the compound subject �Boband me.� In this case, you can checkthe pronoun �me� by temporarilyomitting �Bob.�

List of personal pronouns

Subjective Objective Possessive

Singular I me my/mineFirst personPlural we us our/oursSingular you you your/yoursSecond personPlural you you your/yours

Masculine he him hisFeminine she her hers

Singular

Neutral it it its

Third person

Plural they them theirs/theirs

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Module Five 20 Rules of Plain English 63

Avoid slangAvoid slang (also known ascolloquialisms) words, or uses ofaccepted words, that are not generallyconsidered proper. Many commonlyaccepted words began as slang, buthave come into general use. When youdecide that a word is acceptable willdepend on how liberal or conservativeyou are with the language, and howformal your document is.

Examples of slang

It was cutting-edge technology.

Cursor over to the right of the screen.

His presentation was totally radical.

Hey, dude, look at these figures!

Some writers will use slang, but placeit in single quotes. Here�s what Strunkand White, authors of The Elements ofStyle, have to say about this practice:

If you use a colloquialism, or a slangword or phrase, simply use it; do notdraw attention to it by enclosing it inquotation marks. To do so is to put onairs, as though you were inviting thereader to join you in a select society ofthose who know better.

New words to consider:

AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks� trus) adj.Possessing the ability to turn a fauceton and off with your toes.

CARPERPETUATION (kar� pur pet u ashun) n. The act, when vacuuming, ofrunning over a string or a piece of lintat least a dozen times, reaching overand picking it up, examining it, thenputting it back down to give thevacuum one more chance.

DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt�) v. Tosterilize a piece of candy you droppedon the floor by blowing on it, assumingthis will somehow remove all thegerms.

ELBONICS (el bon� iks) n. The actions oftwo people manoeuvring for onearmrest in a movie theatre.

FRUST (frust) n. The small line ofdebris that refuses to be swept ontothe dust pan and keeps backing aperson across the room until he or shefinally decides to give up and sweep itunder the rug.

LACTOMANGULATION (lak� toe man gyulay� shun) n. Manhandling the �openhere� spout on a milk container sobadly that one has to resort to theillegal side.

PEPPIER (pehp ee ay�) n. The waiter ata fancy restaurant whose sole purposeseems to be walking around askingdiners if they want ground pepper.

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64 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Be gender neutralDon�t make assumptions about gender.If you�re talking about all managers,don�t use �he� or �she� or �his� or �hers�unless you know that it will always beone gender or the other.

Avoid gender-specific nouns. Manynew gender-neutral nouns haveentered the language in the last fewdecades. Here are just a few:

Gender specific Gender neutral

chairman chair orchairperson

fisherman fisheractress actorfireman firefighterwaitress serverdelegates andtheir wives

delegates and theirspouses

workman worker

Many writers run into trouble withpersonal pronouns because Englishdoes not have singular gender-neutralpersonal pronouns. �He,� �his,� �she,�and �hers� are all gender specific.Pronouns such as �they,� �their,� and�them,� while neutral, must refer backto plural antecedents.

Example

The manager (antecedent) mustsubmit his (pronoun) budget to headoffice. (Gender specific)

The managers must submit theirreports to head office. (Genderneutral)

The manager must submit the reportto head office. (Pronoun omitted)

Use these tactics to avoid gender-specific pronouns, or worse, awkwardconstructions like �he/she.�

• Repeat the noun (despite what yourEnglish teacher may have said,don�t worry about using the sameword over again).

• If appropriate, make theantecedent plural so you can use�they,� �them,� or �their� (forexample, talk about �clerks�instead of �the clerk�).

• Drop the pronoun entirely, orre-cast the sentence so that apronoun is not necessary.

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Module Five 20 Rules of Plain English 65

Be specificAvoid abstract or inexact terms. In business, your readers are looking for solid,descriptive information facts, figures, and directions.

Exercise 20: Revise these sentences to replace the general and the inexactwith the exact and the concrete

Mud the gyproc with a thin layer of filler, then wait for awhile before sanding.

To ensure that the deadline can be met, the draft must be finished quickly.

Some staff experienced computer problems.

Turn the bolt until it�s quite tight.

Avoid unnecessary expenditures.

Be aware of suspicious transactions.

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66 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Avoid clichésClichés are time-worn phrases that have lost their original freshness, and canusually be replaced with one or two simple words.

Many of the more colourful clichés, such as �let�s not beat around the bush,� havelost their original literal meaning. While readers know this cliché means �let�s getto it,� most could not explain the significance of the �bush� or the act of �beating.�

Exercise 21: Replace the following clichés with everyday words

please feel free to call

between a rock and hard place

in connection with

with regard to

six of one, half a dozen of the other

with respect to

easier said than done

as already stated

pursuant to your letter

all things considered

enclosed herewith is

to say the least

to explore every avenue

in the neighbourhood of

to a certain extent

as a matter of fact

suffice it to say

hit the nail on the head

the fact of the matter is

we beg to acknowledge

avoid clichés like the plague

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Module Five 20 Rules of Plain English 67

Place modifiers carefullyWatch where you place modifiers, suchas �only,� �almost,� �already,� �even,��just,� �nearly,� �merely,� and�always.�

Consider how the placement of one ofthese small words can alter themeaning of the sentence.

Example

The company wants to negotiate theunion�s offer.

Only the company wants to negotiatethe union�s offer.

The company wants only to negotiatethe union�s offer.

The company wants to negotiate onlythe union�s offer.

The company wants to negotiate theunion�s only offer.

The company wants to negotiate theunion�s offer only.

Examples

They just wanted a time extension.(No)

They wanted just a time extension.(Better)

They almost spent five days writingthe report. (No)

They spent almost five days writingthe report. (Yes)

Try one

The annual report only provides year-end figures.

From Monday’s classified ads: From Tuesday’s classified ads:

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68 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Avoid unnecessary qualificationDon�t qualify words that don�t need tobe qualified:

• totally committed• completely devoted• utterly rejected• perfectly clear• entirely finished• quite precise• radically new• totally compatible• somewhat unique• relatively precise• partially committed

Use contractionsContractions are words formed byjoining two words together anddropping some letters. Usecontractions to give your writing aninformal, conversational tone. Withoutthem, your writing will sound formaland maybe a bit stilted.

You may want to avoid usingcontractions in formal documents, suchas legal contracts or annual reports, orwhere you want to emphasize thewords. For example, �You will go to thedoctor!�

Common contractions

can�t cannotdon�t do notI�d I wouldI�ll I willI�m I amit�ll it willit�s it isshe�d/he�d she would/he wouldshe�ll/he�ll she will/he willshe�s/he�s she is/he isthere�s there isthey�ll they willthey�re they arewe�re we arewon�t will notyou�ll you willyou�re you are

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Module Five 20 Rules of Plain English 69

Be concise Remove all unnecessary words to keep your writing as short as possible. You may find that your first draft contains unnecessary wording or redundant expressions. Take the time to weed out these space wasters. Your readers will thank you.

Ways to reduce words:

• understand what your readers need

• stick to essential information and skip the marginal details

• use active verbs

• use everyday words

• avoid redundant expressions, such as “abundantly clear”

• avoid clichés, such as “in the neighbourhood of”

Ways not to eliminate words or to make it look like fewer words:

• drop articles and verbs (see Abbreviated scientific style, page 7)

• use acronyms instead

• make the type smaller than 10 points

• reduce line spacing or widen the text column

The chances of someone reading your writing are inversely proportional to its size.

Signs and Notices From Around the World: Leipzig Elevator

Swiss Inn

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70 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Avoid foreign wordsAvoid foreign words in your writing,unless they have come into commonuse or there�s no substitute.

Exercise 22: What do these foreignwords and phrases mean?

pro bono

gratis

ipso facto

c�est la vie

tout fini

savoir faire

je ne sais quoi

Avoid Latin abbreviations. Most ofyour readers won�t know the wordsthat these terms abbreviate. Inparticular, many people confuse �e.g.�and �i.e.�

Exercise 23: What Latin words dothese abbreviations stand for?

e.g.

i.e.

etc.

Spell them out in full:

Abbreviation English equivalent

e.g. �for example� or �forinstance�

i.e. �that is� or �that is tosay�

etc. �and so on� orintroduce the listwith �such as�

Avoid Roman numerals�many of yourreaders will get confused.

Exercise 24: Translate thesenumbers

IX

M

CM

XC

MCMXCIX

MM

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Module Five 20 Rules of Plain English 71

Capitalize properlyCapitalize proper nouns only namesof people, objects, and entities. Don�tcapitalize a word because you think it�simportant or you want it to stand out.Capitalization helps readersdistinguish the names of things fromthe descriptions of things.

Some capitalization varies dependingon local practice. For example, someorganizations usually capitalize thefollowing words:

• Board• Act• Corporation• Company

Exercise 25: List 10 types of thingsthat should be capitalized

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

Exercise 26: Should these be capitalized?

Review the following and decide if they�re capitalized correctly:

• Audit Of Financial And Management Practices (title of report)• Kootenay regional district• the Regional District (referring to above)• district management staff• the transportation of dangerous goods act• the Act (referring to above)• lower mainland• greater Vancouver• Northwestern British Columbia• we audited three Ministries• the insurance corporation of British Columbia• the Corporation (referring to ICBC)• the Board heard three submissions• the Manager, Human Resources• the manager of human resources

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72 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Abbreviate with careAbbreviations, acronyms, andinitialisms, referred to here simply as�abbreviations,� are just code to thosewho don�t know them, so use themwith care. While they may make forquick communications among those inthe know, they�re a problemparticularly for newcomers andnovices.

Example

The ADM cc�d the Mgr. ISD on theemail to the dept. reps re: the LCDs,and attached the SOP on PDFing POs(Form 223). (Avoid spell them out)

Tips on using abbreviations:

• use as few as possible, and onlywhen readers will understand them

• never coin any of your own

• avoid abbreviations of foreignwords, such as �i.e.,� �e.g.,� and�etc.� use the English equivalents

• spell them out the first time youuse them

• form the plural by simply addingan �s� don�t use an apostropheunless it would be confusing (forexample, �CRTs� but �GI�s�)

• generally, drop periods unless itwould be confusing, or it�s acceptedpractice (�BC,� �IBM,� �COD,� �ft�)

• always use periods for �Mr.,��Mrs.,� �Ltd.,� �Co.,� and �Dr.� it�saccepted practice

Did you know?

Though the term �abbreviations� isused here to cover abbreviations,acronyms, and initialisms, thefollowing are definitions of each.

Abbreviation � a shortened form of aword, such as �ft.�

Acronym � composed of the initialletters or parts of a compound termthat is usually read as a single word,rather than letter by letter, such as�scuba� (self-contained underwaterbreathing apparatus).

Initialism � composed of the initialletters or parts of a compound term,but usually read letter by letter,rather than as a single word, such as�rpm� (revolutions per minute).

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Module Five 20 Rules of Plain English 73

Write numbers consistentlyGuidelines for using numbers in text:

• spell out numbers from onethrough nine

• use figures for 10 and greater,except numbers rounded tomillions (for example,�10 million�)

• if one number in a sentence is 10or greater, then use figures for allnumbers (for example, �4 apples,5 oranges, and 12 pears�)�exceptfor �one,� which is always spelledout

• always spell out a number used atthe beginning of a sentence

• form plurals of numbers by adding�s� (for example, �747s�)

Ignore some old rulesHere are some of the rules of Englishusage that you can safely ignore inbusiness writing:

• don�t use personal pronouns, suchas �I,� �we,� or �you,� except ininformal documents (see Writingpoints of view, page 39, and Usepronouns with care, page 62)

• don�t use simple, everyday words use your thesaurus and find animpressive one! (see Word choice,page 44)

• don�t use contractions (see Usecontractions, page 68)

• avoid dangling prepositions (seeUse prepositions with care, page58)

• vary sentence structure tomaintain reader interest (seeActive and passive verbs, page 50)

• vary sentence length (see Sentencelength, page 42)

• vary choice of words never usethe same word more than once ortwice on the same page (see Wordchoice, page 44)

• never start a sentence with aconjunction, such as �because� or�and�

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74 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Why English is a crazy languageWhy English is a crazy languageWhy English is a crazy languageWhy English is a crazy languageLet�s face it�English is a crazylanguage:

• There is no egg in eggplant, nor hamin hamburger.

• There is neither apple nor pine inpineapple.

• English muffins weren�t invented inEngland, nor French fries in France.

• Sweetmeats are candies, whilesweetbreads, which aren�t sweet, aremeat.

• We take English for granted. But ifwe explore its paradoxes, we findthat quicksand can work slowly.

• Boxing rings are square.

• A guinea pig is neither from Guinea,nor is it a pig.

• Why is it that writers write butfingers don�t fing, grocers don�tgroce, and hammers don�t ham?

• If the plural of tooth is teeth, whyisn�t the plural of booth beeth?

• One goose, two geese. So one moose,two meese? One index, two indices?

• Doesn�t it seem crazy that you canmake amends but not one amend?You can have noses that run andfeet that smell?

• If you have a bunch of odds and endsand get rid of all but one of them,what do you call it?

• If teachers taught, why didn�tpreachers praught?

• If a vegetarian eats vegetables, whatdoes a humanitarian eat?

• Sometimes I think all the Englishspeakers should be committed to anasylum for the verbally insane.

• In what language do people recite ata play and play at a recital?

• How can a slim chance and a fatchance be the same, while a wiseman and a wise guy are opposites?

• You have to marvel at the uniquelunacy of a language in which yourhouse can burn up as it burns down,you fill in a form by filling it out,and an alarm goes off by going on.

• English was invented by people, notcomputers, and it reflects thecreativity of the human race, which,of course, is not a race at all.

• That is why when the stars are out,they are visible, but when the lightsare out, they are invisible.

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Module 6 Punctuation Matters 75

MODULE 6MODULE 6MODULE 6MODULE 6

Punctuation Matters

PUNCTUATION matters. Omitting asingle comma can reverse the meaningof a sentence.

Correct punctuation guides yourreaders, telling them where to pauseand where to stop. They separate yourideas into meaningful chunks,preventing your sentences fromblurring together. They can also tellyour readers when you�re quoting asource, and when you�ve added orremoved words from the quote.

Not all punctuation is used frequentlyin business writing. Some, such asellipses and brackets, are morecommonly used in other areas ofwriting like journalism. Others,particularly periods and commas, areused in almost every sentence.

In this module, you�ll learn about thevarious marks of punctuation andwhat they�re used for. In particular,you�ll learn about how to correctly usethe trickier marks the ones thatwriters tend to confuse like commas,em dashes, and en dashes.

From Wednesday’s classified ads:

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76 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Common marks of punctuation

Mark Name Use to…

. period End a sentence or indicate an abbreviation

, comma Separate list items, link complete thoughts, encloseparenthetic thoughts, or separate introductoryphrases

; semicolon Separate two independent clauses not joined by aconjunction. Often thought of as a soft period

: colon Introduce a list

“ ” double quotes Indicate a quotation from a person or publication

‘ ’ single quotes Indicate slang or a quotation within a quotation

( ) parentheses Set off remarks that explain or comment on thesentence

[ ] brackets Indicate your own words within a quotation

… ellipsis Indicate words that have been deleted from aquotation

— em dash Enclose or set off parenthetic expressions or abruptchanges in thought

– en dash Indicate continuing or inclusive numbers, such asdates, times, or reference numbers

- hyphen Create hyphenated words, such as �co-worker,� or tocreate compound modifiers, such as �one-day course�

? question mark Indicate a question

! exclamation mark Emphasize a statement�infrequently used inbusiness writing

& ampersand Replace �and��spell out instead

/ slash Indicate an and/or situation (avoid by statingwhether one or both possibilities exist)

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Module 6 Punctuation Matters 77

Commas (,)Commas are the trickiest of the marksof punctuation, but one of the mostimportant to use correctly. Here aresix places to use commas.

1. To separate three or moreitems in a list.

Place a comma between each item. Forbusiness and technical writing, place acomma after the second-to-last item(this comma is commonly referred toas the serial comma). In other types ofwriting, the serial comma is often notused. In some writing situations,particularly with compound list items,using the serial comma preventspossible confusion.

Example

�computer, monitor, and keyboard.

2. To separate two independentclauses (complete sentences)joined by a conjunction (suchas �and,� �but,� �for,� �or,� �nor,��yet,� �still�).

Example

The financial records of the companywent up in smoke, and the generalledger cannot be reconstructed.

Don�t use a comma if the twoindependent clauses are short andclosely related.

Example

The company changed its policy andthe number of complaints droppedimmediately.

Don�t use a comma before a clause thatcannot stand on its own as a completesentence.

Example

The president said that a publicmeeting would have to be held beforethe department would considerchanging its policy.

3. To set off introductoryphrases or conditions.

If the interruption to the flow of thesentence is slight, you can omit thecomma.

Examples

Walking slowly up the hallway, hesaw the crowd gathered around thecoffee machine.

If the float is out by less than $10,ignore the difference.

In 2000 we decided not to file anincome tax return. (Comma omittedbecause interruption is slight)

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78 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

4. To enclose parentheticphrases and clauses.

Parenthetic remarks are explanationsor afterthoughts that are inserted intosentences that are grammaticallycomplete without the insertion. Neveruse a single comma always use two.

Examples

The taxes, which are unreasonable,will not be paid.

The tax audit started on April 20,2001, and will be finished within oneyear.

5. To separate consecutiveadjectives that can be joinedby “and” and whose order canbe jumbled.

These adjectives each modify the nounseparately and are called coordinateadjectives.

Don�t use a comma to separateadjectives that can�t be joined by �and�and whose order can�t be jumbled.These adjectives do not modify the

noun separately and are calledcumulative adjectives.

Don�t use a comma to separate anadjective from the noun that follows it.

Example

She is a strong, confident, independentwoman. (Coordinate adjectives,which can be joined by “and” andcan be jumbled)

Four small red shapes emerged fromthe fog. (Cumulative adjectives,which can’t be joined by “and”and can’t be jumbled)

6. To separate adverbs such as“accordingly,” “further,”“however,” “thereafter,”“indeed,” “instead,” “next,”“similarly,” and “finally” fromthe text that follows.

Example

However, some revisions may beneeded.

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Module 6 Punctuation Matters 79

Colons and semicolons (: ;)Use colons to introduce lists of items,whether in paragraph or bullet-listform.

Example

Bring the following items: pen, pencil,ruler, and eraser.

Bring the following items:

• pen• pencil• ruler• eraser

Use semicolons to separate twoindependent clauses not joined by aconjunction (such as �and� or �but�).Think of semicolons as light periods. Inmost business and technical writing,you can use two sentences instead.

Examples

It is nearly 4:30 p.m.; we cannot meetthe deadline.

Work hard when you work; play hardwhen you play.

From Thursday’s classified ads:

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80 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Punctuating listsThere are three options forpunctuating lists.

Option 1 � If the introductory phraseand the listed items are meant to beread as one complete sentence, thenuse the same punctuation andcapitalization you would use in aparagraph.

Example: Option 1

Punctuate lists by:

• placing a comma (or possibly asemicolon) after each item,

• placing a comma after the second-to-last item (the serial comma), and

• concluding with a period.

Option 2 � When the listed items aresingle words or phrases and do notform complete sentences, then drop allpunctuation. Some writers like tocapitalize each item, while others donot. This is the simplest and mostpopular option.

Example: Option 2

Bring the following items to class:

• pens• pencils• books

Option 3 � When the listed itemsform complete, independent sentences,then capitalize each sentence andplace a period at the end.

Example

Follow these rules for punctuating listitems that are complete sentences:

• Make sure all items are completesentences.

• Capitalize the first word of eachsentence.

• Place a period at the end of eachsentence.

Tips for creating lists:

• use lists for three or more items (nofewer)

• introduce each list with a sentenceor phrase

• single-space lists of words or shortphrases, and double-space lists oflong phrases or sentences

• use bullets for lists, and numbersfor steps

• structure all items in a listsimilarly (see Write in parallelways, page 56)

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Module 6 Punctuation Matters 81

Apostrophes (’)Use an apostrophe to indicate acontraction or to form the possessive.

Contractions

The apostrophe replaces the omittedletters (see Use contractions, page 68).

Examples of contractions:

• he�s• she�s• doesn�t• it�s

Singular possessive

Add �s� to any word to form thesingular possessive even singularwords that end in �s.� It�s acceptable touse only an apostrophe if adding �s�makes the pronunciation awkward.

Example

Bob�s dilemma is Lewis�s opportunity.

Sophocles� books are hard tounderstand. (Acceptable because“Sophocles’s” would be awkwardto pronounce)

The possessive form of �it� is �its� (noapostrophe).

Plural possessive

Add the apostrophe after the �s.� If theword is plural but doesn�t end in �s,�add ��s.�

Example

Taxpayers� rights

Children�s rights

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82 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Parentheses ( )Parentheses set off remarks thatexplain or comment on the sentence,but are not directly related to thetheme of the sentence.

Parenthetic remarks are disruptive tothe reader, so avoid using them inbusiness writing. If the remark isimportant, integrate it into thesentence, or create a new sentence. Ifnot, omit it.

It�s okay to use parentheses forspelling out acronyms and where theparenthetic remark is short.

Example

Students must return all materials(these include sample manuals andtextbooks) to the instructor.(Disruptive avoid)

Students must return all materials,such as sample manuals andtextbooks, to the instructor.(Preferred)

The following example from theManual of the American PsychologicalAssociation shows the rules forpunctuation and parentheses.

Example

If the parenthetical item falls in themiddle of the sentence (such as this),the comma follows the parenthesis. (Ifa complete sentence, like this one, isenclosed in parentheses, the period isplaced inside the final parenthesis.)The period follows the parenthesisthat falls at the end of a sentence (likethis).

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Module 6 Punctuation Matters 83

Quotation marks (“ ”)Use quotation marks to indicate thatyou�re quoting exact words from aperson or publication. If the quotationhas a quotation within it, use singlequotes for the inner quote. In Britain,this convention is reversed singlequotes go on the outside, and doublequotes, if necessary, go on the inside.

Use curly quotes (� �), sometimes calledsmart quotes, rather than straightquotes (" "). Most word processors havea smart quotes feature you can turnon.

Place lengthy quotations consisting ofa paragraph or more in a separateindented paragraph.

Commas and periods go inside theclosing quote. Colons and semicolonsgo outside.

Example

The dictionary defines harassment as�any conduct, comment, gesture, orcontact that causes offence,intimidates, or humiliates another.�

He said, �I prefer typewriters tocomputers�; this surprised us.

Where exclamation marks andquestion marks go depends on whetherthey are part of the quotation or partof the whole sentence.

Example

My youngest daughter asked, �Whendoes the question mark go outside thequotation mark?�

Have you heard the old saying �If itain�t broke, don�t fix it�?

Also use quotation marks to refer to anarticle in a publication.

Example

Refer to the article �Writing AbilityCritical to Career Success� in theNational Post.

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84 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Hyphens (-)Use hyphens sparingly. Don�t usehyphens to equalize line lengths. Aragged-right margin is easier to readthan an even one. In general, only usehyphens to avoid ambiguity orawkward pronunciation. Here aresome examples of when to use ahyphen:

• with certain prefixes and suffixes(for example, �re-evaluate,��co-worker�)

• with the prefixes �all-,� �ex-,��non-,� and �self-�

• after a series of words with acommon base that is not repeated(for example, �short- andlong-range planning�)

• to create compound terms thatprecede the words they modify (forexample, �well-designed plans,��up-to-date safety requirements,��one-day course�)

• if the words in the compound termfollow the words they modify, donot use a hyphen (for example, �theplans were well designed�)

• to combine fractions and compoundnumbers from 21 to 99 (forexample, �two-thirds,��one-quarter,� �forty-nine�)

• to combine numeral-unit adjectives(for example, �10-metre pipe�)

• to combine an initial capital letterwith a word (for example, �U-turn�)

When using compound terms inheadings, capitalize the word after thehyphen if it�s a noun or properadjective or if the words have equalweight. Do not capitalize a secondword that modifies the first word (forexample, �Follow-up Procedure�).

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Module 6 Punctuation Matters 85

Em dashes (—) and en dashes (–)Em dash (—)

Use an em dash to enclose or set offparenthetic expressions�or abruptchanges in thought�when commasand parentheses aren�t strong enough.

Use an em dash to expand on a phrasein the main clause of the sentence, orwhere a sentence is introduced by alist. Or use it to set off concludingremarks�for emphasis. But don�toveruse em dashes�they becomeannoying after awhile.

Don�t put spaces on either side of anem dash.

The em dash is not on your keyboard�it�s a special character that you mustinsert into your document.

Examples

To further develop these ideas�thismay be our last chance�we decided tomeet at the beginning of next month.

Article 111.2, article 111.3, and article119�all will influence this decision.

Use small caps for acronyms�forexample, GVRD.

En Dash (–)

Use an en dash to indicate continuingor inclusive numbers, such as dates,times, or reference numbers. Don�t putspaces on either side of an en dash.

Like the em dash, the en dash is not onyour keyboard. It�s a special characterthat you must insert into yourdocument.

Examples

June�July 192210:00 a.m.�5:00 p.m.pages 19�24

Keyword headings � Also use an endash in keyword headings (like here),to set the keywords apart from thetext. When using it in this context, putspaces on either side.

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86 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Other marks of punctuationExclamation marks (!)

You hardly ever need to useexclamation marks in businesswriting, except perhaps in personalcorrespondence to friends. Not even incopy writing!

Example

Our firm has many years ofexperience! (Shouting)

Our firm has many years ofexperience. (Better)

Ellipsis (…)

Use an ellipsis (three spaced periods)to indicate an omission from aquotation. The ellipsis is not on yourkeyboard�it�s a special character thatyou must insert into your document. Ifyou insert three periods in a row, yourword processor will insert the correctcharacter automatically.

Example

She instructed, �When you omit wordsin quoted material, use a series ofthree spaced periods, called an ellipsis,to indicate the omission.�

She instructed, �When you omit wordsin quoted material, use a series ofthree spaced periods�to indicate theomission.�

Brackets [ ]

Use brackets to indicate that you havesubstituted your own words in aquotation to suit your context.

Example

Our investigation indicates that BobSmith Contracting was negligent.

Our investigation indicates that [thecontractor] was negligent.

Slash (/)

Don�t use a slash to indicate an�either/or� choice (for example,�he/she,� �employees/contractors�) or toreplace �and� (for example, �close/lockthe door�). Use either �and� or �or,�whichever is appropriate.

Use a slash to express a combination�for example, �employer/employeerelationship,� �on/off switch.�

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Module 6 Punctuation Matters 87

Exercise 27: Punctuate the following

As an experiment take any randomly selected paragraph and copy it making nochanges other than removing all punctuation marks you probably will find itconfusing with sentences and thoughts running together without any indicationof where to stop and pause the absence of punctuation marks leaves you with noclue for your inflections and without inflections the string of words is meaninglessyou must separate words group them before they make sense to bring order out ofchaos is to separate separating is the first step toward understanding and thefirst function of punctuation marks is to serve as separators

Exercise 28: Punctuate this

Try to punctuate the following line of words�when punctuated correctly, it makesperfect sense:

That that is is that that is not is not is that it it is

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88 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Why English is hard to learnWhy English is hard to learnWhy English is hard to learnWhy English is hard to learnSome reasons why English is hard tolearn:

• The bandage was wound around thewound.

• The farm was used to produceproduce.

• The dump was so full it had torefuse more refuse.

• We must polish the Polish furniture.

• He could lead if he would get thelead out.

• The soldier decided to desert hisdessert in the desert.

• Since there is no time like thepresent, he thought it was time topresent the present.

• A bass and a bass were painted onthe base of the bass drum.

• When shot at, the dove dove into thebushes.

• The insurance was invalid for theinvalid.

• There was a row among the oarsmenabout how to row.

• They were too close to the door toclose it.

• The buck does funny things whenthe does are present.

• A seamstress and a sewer fell downinto a sewer.

• The wind was too strong to wind thesail.

• After a number of injections my jawgot number.

• Upon seeing the tear in the paintingI shed a tear.

• I had to subject the subject to aseries of tests.

• How can I intimate this to my mostintimate friend?

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Module 7 Designing Effective Pages 89

MODULE 7MODULE 7MODULE 7MODULE 7

Designing Effective Pages

Good page and screen design not onlyenhances the visual appeal of yourwriting, but improves its legibility�readers will be able to locateinformation on the page faster usingskimming and scanning techniques,and once they start to read, will readthe text faster.

Many of the page design andtypographic conventions that we see inbusiness publications today evolvedbecause of the limitations imposed bytypewriters. One example is the use of

Courier, a non-proportional typeface.With Courier, every letter andcharacter on the keyboard uses thesame amount of space, whether it�s an�l� or an �m.� While it made thetypewriter easier to design, it�sconsidered slower to read because ofthe unnatural word lengths thatresult. Now that we use wordprocessors and laser printers, we candrop some of these typewriterconventions and go back to standardtypographic conventions.

In this module, you�ll learn how tocreate a great page design, whattypefaces work the best, how tohighlight for emphasis, whatinformation headers and footersshould contain, how to presentinformation graphically, and ways toget the most from your word processor.

Real Resume Bloopers

�Insufficient writing skills, thought processes have slowed down some. If I am notone of the best, I will look for another opportunity.�

�My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to completeprojects on time is unspeakable.�

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90 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Page design and layoutAn attractive and legible page designwill encourage your readers to useyour document, and will make it easierto find information and faster to read.

Line length

Keep your line lengths short. If youuse the full width of the page with one-inch margins, you�ll have 6.5-inch-longlines too long for comfortablereading. Instead, use only the right-hand two-thirds of the page like thesample on the right, or use twocolumns like this workbook. Thinkabout the width of columns in thenewspaper most are about two incheswide.

Typefaces and type sizes

The two main classes of typefaces areserif typefaces and sans serif typefaces.Most typefaces clearly belong in oneclass or the other. Serifs are the smallextensions at the ends of letters andare widely believed to make them morelegible, and the text faster to read.

Serif: Times RomanSans serif: Arial

While you probably have manytypefaces to choose from, mostbusiness documents use only twotypefaces: a serif typeface, such asTimes Roman, for the text, and a sansserif typeface, such as Arial, for

headings. This workbook uses thesetypefaces in this way.

Most people using Microsoft Windowssimply select from the TrueTypetypefaces that were installed whenthey installed Windows. TrueTypetypefaces have both printer anddisplay fonts so that what you see onthe screen is virtually identical towhat you get from the laser printer. Aswell, if others print out the file ondifferent laser printers, they�ll get thesame typefaces as long as theyinstalled the TrueType typefaces whenthey installed Windows.

Examples of TrueType typefaces

Serif: Sans serif:Bookman Avant GardeCentury Schoolbook Century Gothic

Courier ImpactGaramond News Gothic

The normal type size for text is from10 points to 12 points. This is the sizeyour readers are most comfortablereading, and therefore they�ll read itthe fastest. If you are writing for thevisually challenged, younger readers,or where the text may be read at adistance, you may need to increase thetype size of the text to 13 points or14 points. Type smaller than 10 pointsis much harder to read and noticeablyslows down readers.

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Module 7 Designing Effective Pages 91

Sans serif typefaces work well for headingsbecause they stand out. Bold for emphasis.

Use lots of white space tomake the page readerfriendly and to let headingsstand out. Solid textintimidates readers.

Use a 10-point to 12-pointserif typeface like TimesNew Roman for easyreading.

End the page at an appropriatespot. Don�t leave single lines.

Use plenty of headings tobreak up text. Two or threeper page is typical.

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92 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Highlighting for emphasis

If you want to emphasize certainwords or passages, you can usebolding, notes, italics, underlining,UPPER CASE, or SMALL CAPS. But usethese effects sparingly�they all slowreading speed if used for more than afew words.

Bolding – Normally used toemphasize headings. Avoid using toemphasize key points�if youphotocopy the text, you may lose thebolded effect. Instead, make it into anote.

Note � Make a note for keyinformation that needs to beemphasized, particularly if it�s morethan a word or two. Enclosing it in abox draws the reader�s eyes.

Italics � Normally used to identifyemphasized or new words. We�ve useditalics in this workbook to introducenew terms or identify terms that arebeing defined. Italics can also be usedfor document titles, such as the title ofa form or publication.

Underlining � Commonly used whenworking with typewriters, but not usedmuch anymore. Avoid underlining.

UPPER CASE � Often used withtypewriters for headings because of thelack of other available headingattributes. All-upper-case letters,however, slow reading speed becauseof the loss of characteristic wordshapes�words in mixed case have ashape that aids in their recognition.Avoid using all-upper-case headings,except for acronyms and abbreviations.

SMALL CAPS � If acronyms andabbreviations are set in full capitalletters like this�SPCA�they are toodominant and will jump out visually.It�s better to put them in small capslike this�SPCA (usually two pointssmaller than the text) to give themabout the same visual dominance asother words in the text.

Headings

When deciding on the typeface andsize of headings in your document,make sure that the reader will be ableto easily distinguish one level fromanother. Look at the headings in thisbook. The first-level headings (themodule headings) are 36-point ErasMedium, flush left. The second-levelheadings (the section headings) are 24-point Eras Medium, flush left. Thethird-level headings are 14-point ErasMedium, also flush left.

When determining the attributes ofyour heading levels, make sure:

• the size runs from biggest tosmallest as you descend thehierarchy

• at least three points of type sizeseparate each level of heading, forexample, 18 points, 15 points, and12 points (otherwise readers maybe unsure of what level they�relooking at)

• the typeface runs from boldest tolightest as you descend thehierarchy

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Module 7 Designing Effective Pages 93

Keyword headings – We�ve usedanother type of heading in this bookthat we call keyword headings (likehere). They are not fifth-level headingsbecause they can be used at any levelin the hierarchy.

On the Web, the user�s browser oftendetermines the typeface and type sizeof each heading level found in a file.Each of the major browsers has adefault, but these can be reset by theuser.

For more information about headings,also see Design a hierarchy, page 27.

Line spacing

Leave the line spacing set at thedefault on your word processor. This isthe setting considered to be the mostreadable. Increasing the line spacing,or leading, will give the text a morespacious or relaxed look, and is oftenused in magazine and book publishing.Decreasing the line spacing will makethe text more difficult to read.

Use extra line spacing to separateparagraphs. Avoid indenting the firstline of a paragraph�this convention isnot commonly used in businesspublications. Additional line spacing isoften used to set off headings from thetext above and below them. Look atthe spacing above and below headingsin this workbook.

Justification

Justification refers to how the lines oftext line up at the left and rightmargins. All text is left justified�alllines start at the left margin. But textcan also be fully justified�lines can

line up at the right margin as well.This paragraph is fully justified.Magazines and newspapers are almostalways fully justified, but businessdocuments are usually not.

Fully justifying text often results inawkward word spacing, which affectsreading speed. Magazines andnewspapers can often avoid some ofthese problems by hyphenating words,or using sophisticated typesettingequipment to automatically kern wordson a line (kerning refers to adjustingthe letter spacing of words).

Since most word processors can�t kernin the same way, and hyphenatingwords slows reading speed, avoid fullyjustifying text.

A ragged-right margin makes it easierfor the reader�s eyes to move from lineto line. Most of the paragraphs in thisworkbook, including this one, are leftjustified and have ragged-rightmargins.

Headers and footers

Headers are the information andgraphics at the top of the page that arenot part of the text. Footers are theinformation and graphics at thebottom of the page. Headers andfooters are normally only used onlonger documents, such as reports ormanuals.

Normally there are two differentheaders and footers�one for left pagesand one for right pages�with differentinformation or graphics.

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94 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

headers

footers

Headers and footers contain importantpage control information, which tellsreaders where they are and providesother important information about thedocument they�re reading.

The following information may be partof headers and footers:

• organization name and logo• graphic lines (usually to separate

the header and footer from the text)• document title• section title• page number• issue date• name of author• contact department or name• word processor folder path and file

name

Page numbers are usually on theoutside edge of the page so they can beseen easily. For documents that are tobe printed double sided, the numberswill be on the right on right-handpages and on the left on left-handpages.

Incidentally, right-hand pages alwayshave odd page numbers and left-handpages always have even pagenumbers�this is a universaltypographic convention.

Page breaks

Page break refers to where you end apage of text. The standard rule is tonever leave a single line of text ateither the bottom of a page (an orphan)or the top of a page (a widow). Mostword processors have a widow andorphan feature, which automaticallyguards against single lines. However,for documents that typically use lots ofheadings, bullet lists, and othermethods of presentation, this featuredoesn�t work well. Once the text isfinalized, go through the documentand decide where the pages shouldbreak.

Follow these guidelines for pagebreaks:

• Don�t separate headings from thetext that follows.

• Avoid leaving major headings closeto the bottom of the page.

• Don�t separate introductory linesfrom the lists they introduce.

• Don�t separate tables from theirtitles.

• Leave at least two lines of aparagraph at the top and bottom ofa page.

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Module 7 Designing Effective Pages 95

Using graphicsDifferent types of information lendthemselves to different methods ofpresentation. By using the mostappropriate methods of presentation,you will help readers find andunderstand the information they needfaster and more easily.

Methods of presentinginformation

• bullet lists• checklists• text boxes• sidebar text• tables• step-by-step procedures• flow diagrams• decision trees• form illustrations• screen illustrations• technical illustrations• photographs• graphics• icons

Information is most commonlypresented in narrative form(paragraph after paragraph). Althoughnarrative text forms most of what weread and is a necessary part of mostbusiness documents, it�s more difficultto scan for information than mostother presentation methods.

Good documents use a variety ofmethods of presenting information.

The result, instead of narrative text, istermed structured text. When youprepare documents, think of yourselfas a communicator, not a writer don�tautomatically write paragraph afterparagraph.

Non-technical graphics can be used toprovide visual interest, but graphicsshould relate to and reinforce thetheme of the text. Graphics shouldalways be placed as closely followingtheir reference in the text as possible.

You can get many kinds of graphicsfrom clip-art sources. Try and usegraphics created in a similar style.

More complex graphics, or graphics onspecific subjects, can be custom-developed by graphic artists.

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96 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Tips on using graphics:

• Use graphics to visually enhancethe document and break up thetext. Always choose graphics thatreinforce the message of the text.

• If using graphics of people, makesure you use images of both sexesand different ethnic groups.

• When you�re using a scanner,adjust the size of the graphicwhen you�re scanning, not afterwhen you are placing the graphicin your word processor.

Here are some examples of achecklist, a step-by-step procedure,and an If�Then table.

If… Then…

The information consists of conditionsand actions

Use an If�Then�table

The information consists of rows andcolumns of tabular data

Use a standard table

The information consists of problemsand solutions

Use a troubleshooting table

Editing ChecklistItem

Grammatical and spelling errors eliminated.

Simple, short word choice.

Active verb choice predominates.

To make a cup of instant coffee:

Boil a cup of water.

Place a teaspoon of instant coffee in a cup.

Add the water to the cup and stir.

Add sugar and creamer to taste.

1

2

3

4

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Module 7 Designing Effective Pages 97

Using your word processorMost organizations use wordprocessing software rather thandesktop publishing software to preparetheir documents. While desktoppublishing software is excellent forcomplex page layouts, you�ll find thatits focus on the page rather than thedocument increases the amount ofwork required to revise a document.

The most commonly used wordprocessing programs for personalcomputers are Microsoft Word andCorel WordPerfect. These programsoffer all the features required toproduce most documents.

Word processors provide writers withgreat flexibility. Before the wordprocessor, writers had to write in abasically linear flow, completing oneidea or sentence before beginning thenext one. After all, it wasn�t easy torearrange sentences. With a wordprocessor, you can write as you please.You can leave an idea unfinished andgo on to another idea. Or you can skiparound, writing different ideas asthoughts occur to you. You can writethe concluding paragraph first and theintroductory paragraph last. And whenyou�re finished, you can shuffle theparagraphs around. Take advantage ofthis flexibility when you write.

While writing with a word processor iseasy, page layout and formatting canbe tricky. If you find yourself spending

a lot of time trying to get the page tolook right, consider having someoneelse format it. If you�ve got someonewith strong word processing skills,that person can probably lay out thepages faster and with fewer mistakesthan you can.

Tips for faster and better wordprocessing:

• Use your word processor the wayit was designed to beused fudged work-arounds cantake more time in the end.

• Create a document template tospeed formatting and ensureconsistency.

• Use the styles feature (don�t applyformatting directly to elements ofthe text). It�s faster and wayeasier to change.

• Learn to touch type, if you don�tknow how to already you shouldbe able to type faster than you canthink.

• Use understandable file names foryour documents, and place themin appropriate folders so you canfind them.

• Save your document regularly.

• If you run into problems, look inyour manual or help system.

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98 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Some tips for proper EnglishSome tips for proper EnglishSome tips for proper EnglishSome tips for proper English• Avoid alliteration. Always.

• Never use a long word when adiminutive one will do.

• Employ the vernacular.

• Eschew ampersands andabbreviations, etc.

• Parenthetical remarks (howeverrelevant) are unnecessary.

• Remember to never split aninfinitive.

• Foreign words and phrases are notapropos.

• One should never generalize.

• Eliminate quotations. As RalphWaldo Emerson said, �I hatequotations. Tell me what you know.�

• Comparisons are as bad as clichés.

• Don�t be redundant; don�t use morewords than necessary; it�s highlysuperfluous.

• Be more or less specific.

• Understatement is always best.

• One word sentences? Eliminate.

• Analogies in writing are likefeathers on a snake.

• The passive voice is to be avoided.

• Go around the barn at high noon toavoid colloquialisms.

• Even if a mixed metaphor sings, itshould be derailed.

• Who needs rhetorical questions?

• Exaggeration is a billion times worsethan understatement.

• Don�t never use a double negation.

• capitalize every sentence andremember always end it with point

• Do not put statements in thenegative form.

• Verbs have to agreed with theirsubjects.

• Proofread carefully to see if youwords out.

• If you reread your work, you canfind on rereading a great deal ofrepetition can be avoided byrereading and editing.

• A writer must not shift your point ofview.

• Place pronouns as close as possible,especially in long sentences of 10 ormore words, to their antecedents.

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Appendix 1 Answers to Exercises 99

APPENDIX 1APPENDIX 1APPENDIX 1APPENDIX 1

Answers to Exercises

Here are some suggested answers to the exercises presented in this book. In manyof the exercises, there are other possible correct answers.

Exercise 1: Make this sentence more believable

You�ve reached the offices of A-to-Z Manufacturing. All of our operators are busyat the moment. We value your business please stay on the line and the nextavailable operator will be with you shortly.

Exercise 2: Add back the missing words

If the oil pressure is under 40 pounds, loosen the right-hand banjo screw.

Exercise 3: Top 10 list of attributes of good business writing

1. Use a conversational style.

2. Use short, everyday words.

3. Use first-person and second-person point of view where appropriate.

4. Use short sentences in subject-verb-object sentence order.

5. Prefer active verbs.

6. Use strong verbs.

7. Be concise.

8. Be gender neutral.

9. Use contractions where appropriate.

10. Avoid slang and clichés.

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100 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Exercise 4: Writing tone

Most good business writers strive for the following tones in their writing:

• casual• courteous• earnest• engaging• forthright• friendly• helpful

• honest• informal• informative• objective• personal• polite• sincere

Exercise 5: Identify and profile your audience

Here are 10 things you may want to know about your readers:

1. what they�ll do with the information

2. how much they know about the subject

3. their job and work tasks

4. their educational level

5. their reading level

6. whether they�re using English as a second language (ESL)

7. where they will be reading the document (for example, in the field)

8. their attitudes about the subject (are they motivated?)

9. their age and gender10. where they�re located (urban or rural)

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Appendix 1 Answers to Exercises 101

Exercise 7: Break up this long paragraph

Limit paragraphs to a single topic or idea. If you find yourself covering severaltopics, you probably need several paragraphs. It�s better to have too manyparagraphs than too few.

Don�t let paragraphs get too long. Most professional writers will average onlythree or four sentences in a paragraph. Ones that span large areas of the pageintimidate readers.

Make sure that the opening sentence introduces or summarizes the content of theparagraph. This type of opening sentence is often referred to as the topic sentence.The sentences that follow should flow from the first sentence and providesupporting details.

Organize paragraphs into a logical sequence. This sequence might be broadest tonarrowest, most important to least important, or chronological, depending on thenature of the information.

If appropriate, replace paragraphs with bullet lists they�re easier for readers toscan. Avoid including more than three list items in a paragraph. If the items aresteps in a procedure, use numbers instead.

Exercise 8: Editing challenge

If you don�t have a professional editor available, your best writer will have to do.Or consider contracting the services of a professional editor an editor�s servicescan be worth their weight in gold. Writers should not edit their own writing,because they are often blind to their own errors. After an edit, the editor andwriter should review the changes together. This will help the writer understandthe reasons behind the changes. A styleguide should be used to sort outdifferences of opinion.

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102 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Exercise 9: Calculate the fog index

Sample 1

20 Average words in sentence (100 words, 5 sentences)+ 17 % of hard words (17 hard words)= 37 Subtotalx 0.4 Magic multiplier= 14.8 Required reading level

Sample 2

13.4 Average words in sentence (67 words, 5 sentences)+ 16.42 % of hard words (11 hard words)= 29.82 Subtotalx 0.4 Magic multiplier= 11.92 Required reading level

Exercise 10: Put “I” and “we” in your writing

1. We made errors in processing the payroll.

2. I had to edit and convert the report to HTML before it could go on theintranet.

3. The arbitration was not going well so we called in the best negotiator.

Exercise 11: Put “you” in your writing

1. Before you complete the report, check the cross-references for accuracy.

2. You must give staff enough time to review the document.

3. You can�t easily modify the annual report once it has been printed.

4. Analyzing the information needs of staff may let you change the way youdistribute manuals.

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Appendix 1 Answers to Exercises 103

Exercise 12: Shorten long sentences

Divide the following compound sentences at the slash (/). Note the words thatfollow but, and, yet, however, although. These are conjunctions, which are usedto join ideas together. Avoid using them to join independent clauses together.

We are prepared to cooperate with your consultants in the preparation of aschedule,/ but we insist on maintaining complete control of the work as outlinedin Article 12 of the General Conditions of the Contract/ and any such schedulemust be prepared in a manner and form suitable to use as a tool and guide tomanagement for all construction operations on the site.

The facts clearly indicate that motor cars with faulty brakes are being driven onour streets and highways/ yet government officials have not taken action toprotect the responsible motorist and the general public.

The shipping clerk may have only a vague notion of what happens to the fourcopies of the bill of lading forwarded to the sales order and billing departments;/however, this will not affect the clerk�s ability to assess a proposedrecommendation about internal control.

We find the division of business into accounting systems a convenient structurefor evaluating internal control,/ although management may view its businessdifferently, perhaps in terms of areas of functional responsibilities.

Exercise 13: Break up very long sentences

Our proposal indicates the general approach we would take if we were awardedthe contract to write and produce the annual report. However, it does notspecifically address the time and costs that would be required to complete theproject. Not enough substantive information was provided in the request forproposal that was sent to us on January 2.

Exercise 14: Use everyday words

• the start date is August 1• we will have to pay you• the method is under review• they used the photocopier• she got the forms

• they found that• he knew that• after our meeting• she said yes• it cost about $50

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104 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Exercise 15: Use active verbs

The committee has not selected an option.

The appendix lists error messages.

I discovered omissions when I word processed the report. (You have to provide thesubject since it was missing from the sentence.)

We did not intend to disrupt service during the transition. (Again, you have toprovide the subject.)

Exercise 16: Avoid weak verbs

Instead of… Use…

give an answer to answerreach a conclusion concludedo an inspection inspectraise an objection objectsend an invitation to inviteprovide a solution solveform a plan planconduct an analysis analyzemake a distinction distinguishhave knowledge of knowmake a proposal proposehold a meeting meet

Exercise 17: Make the last three items parallel to the first

The plan is deficient because:

• the budget was not prepared• two major cost items were not identified• staffing was not approved• other errors were made

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Appendix 1 Answers to Exercises 105

Exercise 18: “Which” and “that”

The manager plans to take us to the new Thai restaurant, which is in our oldoffice building.

Penticton, which lies within the Okanagan Valley, is shown on the attached map.

The proposal that we liked best was from Acme Printing and Binding.

The committee reviewed the best plans that were submitted.

We could not find the digital file that was missing.

Exercise 19: Rewrite the following noun and modifier strings so theirmeaning is clear

It�s not possible to identify the correct meaning of these phrases because they allhave several possible meanings. That�s the point of this exercise.

Exercise 20: Revise these sentences to replace the general and the inexactwith the exact and the concrete

Mud the gyproc with a 3-millilitre layer of filler, then wait for 2 hours beforesanding.

To ensure that the deadline can be met, the draft must be finished by 10:00 a.m.Monday.

The accounting group was unable to connect to the server.

Tighten the bolt to a torque wrench setting of 125 pounds.

Only equipment and payroll expenditures are permitted.

Report any transactions of more than $10,000.

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106 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Exercise 21: Replace the following clichés with everyday words

please feel free to call callbetween a rock and hard place difficult situationin connection with aboutwith regard to aboutsix of one, half a dozen of the other the samewith respect to abouteasier said than done difficultas already stated (omit)pursuant to your letter about your letterall things considered after consideringenclosed herewith is I�ve enclosedto say the least (omit)to explore every avenue explore all optionsin the neighbourhood of aboutto a certain extent partiallyas a matter of fact (omit)suffice it to say (omit)hit the nail on the head you�re correctthe fact of the matter is it iswe beg to acknowledge we acknowledgeavoid clichés like the plague avoid clichés

Exercise 22: What do these foreign words and phrases mean?

pro bono for free

gratis for free

ipso facto thereby

c�est la vie that�s life

tout fini all finished

savoir faire know how

je ne sais quoi indefinable something

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Appendix 1 Answers to Exercises 107

Exercise 23: What Latin words do these abbreviations stand for?

e.g. exempli gratia

i.e. id est

etc. et cetera

Exercise 24: Translate these numbers

IX 9

M 1,000

CM 900

XC 90

MCMXCIX 1999

MM 2,000

Exercise 25: List 10 types of things that should be capitalized

• personal names• organization names• document titles• form titles• department names• position titles• months of the year

• days of the week• provinces• states• cities• political parties• planets and heavenly bodies• some acronyms and abbreviations

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108 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Exercise 26: Should these be capitalized?

• Audit of Financial and Management Practices• Kootenay Regional District• the regional district (referring to above)• district management staff• the Transportation of Dangerous Goods Act• the Act (or act)• Lower Mainland• Greater Vancouver• northwestern British Columbia• we audited three ministries• the Insurance Corporation of British Columbia• the Corporation (or corporation)• the Board (or board) heard three submissions• the Manager, Human Resources• the manager of human resources

Exercise 27: Punctuate the following

As an experiment, take any randomly selected paragraph and copy it, making nochanges other than removing all punctuation marks. You probably will find itconfusing with sentences and thoughts running together without any indication ofwhere to stop and pause. The absence of punctuation marks leaves you with noclue for your inflections, and without inflections the string of words ismeaningless. You must separate words group them before they make sense. Tobring order out of chaos is to separate. Separating is the first step towardunderstanding, and the first function of punctuation marks is to serve asseparators.

Exercise 28: Punctuate this

That that is, is; that that is not, is not. Is that it? It is!

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Appendix 2 Writing Styleguide 109

APPENDIX 2APPENDIX 2APPENDIX 2APPENDIX 2

Writing Styleguide

Abbreviations

Avoid abbreviations except where theabbreviated form is more commonlyused than the full term (for example,�a.m.� and �p.m.�). For commonabbreviations such as �e.g.,� �i.e.,�and �etc.,� use English equivalents.

Abbreviation Englishequivalent

e.g. (exempligratia)

for example

i.e. (id est) that isetc. (et cetera) and so on, and so

forth

If you choose to use theseabbreviations, use lower case andseparate the abbreviation from thefollowing text with a comma (e.g., likethis).

Acronyms

Minimize the use of acronyms asmuch as possible. They confusenovices, and sometimes even expertsforget what they mean. When you douse them, spell them out the firsttime�for example, �Royal CanadianMounted Police (RCMP).� Use smallcaps to format acronyms.

To form the plural of an acronym,add �s� (for example, PCBs).

Affect and effect

The verb �affect� means to influenceor produce a change, while the verb�effect� means to bring about.

Example

The changes to the Act will affectthree departments.

They effected many changes in theorganization.

�Effect� is usually used as a noun,and means the result.

Example

We felt the effects of the stockmarket crash.

Among and between

Use �between� to describe the directrelationship or comparison of two ormore items. Use �among� when therelationship is less direct. In otherwords, use �between� when therelationship of the items isindividual; use �among� when therelationship is collective.

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110 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Example

You can choose between steak,chicken, and fish.

John was among the candidateschosen.

And/or

�And/or� is often used in legalapplications. Avoid using it whereeither �and� or �or� will do.

Because and since

Avoid using �since� to mean�because��it�s ambiguous. Use�because� to refer to a reason. Use�since� to refer to the passage of time.

Example

Because we installed a new system,we can quickly respond to the public.

Since we installed the new system,our response rate has improved byfive minutes.

Between

See Among and between.

Can and may

Use �can� to describe actions orconditions that are possible. Use�may� only to describe situationswhere permission is being given. Ifeither �can,� �could,� or �may� apply,use �can� because it�s less tentative.

Example

You can submit the form uponcompletion. (Correct)

You may submit the form uponcompletion. (Implies that you havepermission to submit the report)

Use �may� only when you really needto be tentative.

Example

If you submit the form within twoweeks, you may receive approvalfaster.

Clichés

A cliché is an expression that has lostits originality and impact throughoveruse. Examples of clichés include�busy as a bee,� �light as a feather,��with regard to� and �all thingsconsidered.� Avoid clichés �like theplague!�

Colloquialisms

Colloquialisms are conversational orslang expressions like �cutting-edgetechnology.� Avoid them as much aspossible.

If the slang expression is acceptable,don�t enclose it in single quotationmarks�just use it. If the expressionis not acceptable, avoid it altogether.

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Appendix 2 Writing Styleguide 111

Example

It was �cutting-edge� technology.(Avoid)

It was cutting-edge technology.(Preferred)

Comprise

�Comprise� means to include ormaintain. The whole comprises theparts rather than the reverse. Neveruse �comprised of.�

Example

The department comprises severalworkgroups. (Correct)

Several workgroups comprise thedepartment. (Incorrect)

The department is comprised ofseveral workgroups. (Incorrect)

Contractions

Contractions are contracted forms ofwords with the missing lettersrepresented with an apostrophe, suchas �you�ll� and �don�t.� They give yourwriting a more conversational tone�to the reader they sound more likenatural speech.

Contractions are widely used in mostbusiness writing. Because they are amark of informal writing, you maywant to avoid them in formaldocuments.

Be consistent in substituting anapostrophe for deleted letters. Avoiduncommon contractions, and don�tcreate any new ones of your own.

Don�t use a contraction with a nounto replace �is� (for example, �ournetwork�s connected�). Don�t make acontraction from a noun and a verb(for example, �the supervisor�ll reviewyour work�).

Dates

Avoid using abbreviations formonths. Don�t use �th� or �nd� after adate. Only use a comma when theday is included.

Example

Nov. 10th, 1997 (Avoid)

November 10, 1997 (Preferred)

November 1997 (Preferred)

Desire, wish, need, and want

Use �need� instead of �desire� and�wish.� Use �want� when the reader�sactions are optional (that is, theymay not �need� something but maystill �want� something).

Example

If you need to confirm receipt of yourapplication, call the branch office.

Select the books you want and signthem out in the register.

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112 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Different

Use �different from� rather than�different than� when the next part ofthe sentence is a noun or pronoun(that is, two things are beingcompared).

Example

Form 123 is different from Form 124.

Effect

See Affect and effect.

Ensure and insure

�Ensure� means to make sure.�Insure� refers to insurance.

Example

Ensure that the applicant hascompleted the necessary forms beforecontinuing.

You can insure your house up to itsmarket value.

Fractions

Express fractions in words or asdecimals whenever possible. Whenyou do use fractions, use figures forfractions greater than one (forexample, �0.25 litres,� �3.3 metres,��2½ days�). Spell out fractions lessthan one that are used alone (forexample, �one-third inch,� �three-quarters finished�). But use figureswhen fractions are part of acompound term (for example, �¼-inchbolt�).

Gender inclusiveness

Avoid specifying gender. Here aresome guidelines:

• Use gender-neutral titles whenreferring to people (for example,use �chairperson� or �chair�instead of �chairman�). Usegeneric nouns when referring tospecific groups (for example, use�managers� to include both maleand female managers).

• Avoid gender-specific pronouns(for example, �his,� �her,��he/she�). You can:

− address the reader as �you�− repeat the noun (for example,

�managers�)− drop the pronoun altogether− make the noun plural and then

use �they� or �their,� which aregender neutral

− use a passive verb and omitthe noun and pronoun

− rewrite the sentence

• Avoid phrases that makeassumptions about gender. Forexample, �delegates and theirwives are invited to attend thebreakfast meeting� implies thatall delegates are male.

• Avoid always putting men first inphrases such as �men andwomen,� �boys and girls,� �his orhers.� Alternate the word order inphrases like these, so that neitherwomen nor men always go first.

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Appendix 2 Writing Styleguide 113

• Avoid using language that is notparallel, such as �men and ladies�(use �men and women�/�womenand men�), �man and wife� (use�husband and wife�/�wife andhusband�), and �Mr. and Mrs.John Doe� (use �Mr. John Doe andMrs. Jane Doe� or �Jane and JohnDoe�).

• Never refer to adult women as�girls,� �gals,� or �ladies� insituations where you would callmen �men.�

• Don�t use �lady,� �woman,� or�female� as adjectives (forexample, �lady doctor,� �womanlawyer�) unless gender is relevant.If gender is relevant, use the noun�woman� (for example, �she is thefirst woman to walk on the moon�)or the adjective �female� (forexample, �she is the first femaleastronaut to walk on the moon�).

• Avoid stereotypical words andphrases (for example, �like aman,� �women�s work,� and�ladylike�).

Insure

See Ensure and insure.

Italics

Use italics when referring todocument titles and sectionreferences and when introducing newterms.

Its and it’s

Use �it�s� as a contraction for �it is�(for example, �it�s the right thing todo�). Use �its� as a possessivepronoun (for example, �the store isknown for its low prices�).

Me, myself, and I

Use the pronoun �I� as a subject. Use�me� as an object. Use �myself� whenthe person receiving the action is thesame as the person doing the action.

Examples

John and me share the computer.(Incorrect)

John and I share the computer.(Correct)

It was a valuable experience for herfriend and I. (Incorrect)

It was a valuable experience for herfriend and me. (Correct)

I cut myself. (Correct)

The waiter gave my sister and myselfsome good tips. (Incorrect)

The waiter gave my sister and mesome good tips. (Correct)

Measurements

When writing for a Canadianaudience, express measurements inmetric, unless imperial or some othermeasurement is conventionally used(for example, �5 feet 11 inches tall�).

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114 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Follow these conventions fordescribing measurements:

• Use figures for allmeasurements�even if thenumber is under 10 (for example,5 metres).

• Spell out the names of metricunits (for example, �25 grams�).Use symbols (for example, �25 g�)only in tables.

• For two or more measurements,repeat the unit of measure (forexample, �3.5-inch or 5.25-inchdisk�).

• When the measurement is used asan adjective, use a hyphen toconnect the number to themeasurement unit (for example,�2-inch binder�).

• Express dimensions in figures (forexample, �3.5 inches by 10inches�).

See also Fractions and numbers.

Money

Don�t add a decimal point or zeros toa whole dollar amount in a sentence.

Example

The first option costs $1.50, thesecond costs $2.00, and the thirdcosts 75¢. (Avoid)

The first option costs $1.50, thesecond costs $2, and the third costs$0.75. (Preferred).

Note that amounts less than $1 areexpressed as �$0.75,� not as �75¢.�

In a column, if any amount containscents, add a decimal point and twozeros to all whole dollar amounts.

Myself

See Me, myself, and I.

Names

Be consistent when namingorganizations, position titles,document titles, and so on. Capitalizenames and use them consistentlythroughout the document.

Need

See Desire, wish, need, and want.

Notes

Note: To draw the reader�s attentionto something of special importance,create a note like this one.

Paragraphs

Keep paragraphs short�no longerthan four or five sentences if you can.Longer paragraphs are visuallyintimidating to the reader.

Try to limit each paragraph to onetopic, unless you are linking relatedpoints. Start a new paragraph whenyou change topics or shift your focus.

Leave a space between paragraphs.Avoid indenting the first line of aparagraph�this convention is notcommonly used in businesspublications.

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Appendix 2 Writing Styleguide 115

Parallelism

If two or more ideas are parallel,express them in parallel form.Balance single words with singlewords, phrases with phrases, clauseswith clauses.

Example

Frequent absences can result insuspension or even being terminated.(Not parallel)

Frequent absences can result insuspension or even termination.(Parallel)

Balance parallel ideas in a series oritems in a list.

Examples

The department is responsible forcreating annual reports, budgets, andfinancial planning. (Not parallel)

The department is responsible forcreating annual reports, budgets, andfinancial plans. (Parallel)

White space is important for thefollowing reasons:

• breaks up visual impact• visual separation of sections (Not

parallel)• visually separates sections

(Parallel)• focusing attention (Not parallel)• focuses attention (Parallel)• content is broken into smaller

chunks (Not parallel)• breaks content into smaller

chunks (Parallel)

Passive voice

See Voice.

Percent ( % )

Spell out the word percent. Use thesymbol in tables, on business forms,and in statistical or technicalinformation. Be consistent�don�t mixthe word percent and the symbol %.In sentences that begin with apercentage, spell the number out.

Example

Price reductions range from 20 to 50percent.

Forty percent of the population...

Person

Person refers to the point of view orperspective you take when writing:first person (�I� or �we�), secondperson (�you�), or third person (�he,��she,� or �they�). This styleguide iswritten in the second person, becauseit addresses the reader as �you.�

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116 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Singular and plural forms of personal pronouns

Person Singular Plural

first I, me, my, mine we, us, our, ourssecond you, your, yours you, your, yoursthird he, him, his

she, her, hersit, its

they, them, their, theirs

Use the �I� or �we� point of view,which emphasizes the writer, whenwriting correspondence or reportsabout personal experience�forexample, when describing yourgroup�s actions or ideas.

Example

We have decided not to upgrade ourcomputer system.

Use the �you� point of view, whichemphasizes the reader, when givingadvice or instructions. For example,when writing a procedure manual,use the second person and theimperative form (that is, tell thereader what to do).

Example

Complete the form, then submit it toyour supervisor.

Use the third person, whichemphasizes the subject, whendescribing what other people havedone or should do.

Example

Writers should decide on a point ofview and stick with it.

Point of view

See Person.

Possessives and plurals

Form the possessive case of singularnouns by adding an apostrophe andan �s��even if the word endsin an �s.�

Example

• the Ministry�s responsibility• Burns�s poetry

For plural nouns ending in �s,� formthe possessive case by adding anapostrophe.

Examples

• Workers� Compensation Board• ministries� budgets

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Appendix 2 Writing Styleguide 117

For plural nouns not ending in �s,�form the possessive case by adding anapostrophe and an �s.�

Examples

• children�s stories• women�s programs

Instead of using old-fashioned Latin-style plurals, use English-styleplurals. The Latin-style plurals arenot wrong, just a bit stuffy.

Old-fashioned Preferred

formulae formulasappendices appendixesaddenda addendumsindices indexes

Prepositions

A preposition links a noun orpronoun to another word or phrase.Prepositions often expressrelationships�for example, �with,��to,� �since,� �at,� and so on.

Although some writers avoiddangling prepositions, sometimesthey help avoid awkward sentenceconstructions.

Example

Where are you going to?(Considered incorrect by some)

To where are you going? (Awkward)

Where are you going? (Better)

Presently

Avoid using �presently� as it�s oftentaken to mean �now� rather than itsactual meaning �soon.�

Pronouns

A pronoun is a word that represents anoun�for example, �he,� �it,� �who,��they,� and so on. The noun apronoun represents is its antecedent.

Use pronouns sparingly. When usedtoo often or incorrectly, they can beambiguous and can slow readingspeed because the reader has to goback to see which noun theyrepresent.

Make sure pronouns agree with theirantecedents. If pronoun referencesare not clear, repeat the noun orrestructure the sentence.

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Examples

Thank the writer for their interest.(Incorrect)

Thank the writer for her interest.(Correct)

Thank the writers for their interest.(Correct)

If you drop the plate on the glasstable, it might break. (Ambiguous)

If you drop the plate on the glasstable, the plate might break. (Clear)

If you drop the plate on the glasstable, the table might break. (Clear)

The plate might break if you drop iton the glass table. (Clear)

See also Gender inclusiveness.

Sentences

Keep sentences short and simple. Tryto limit them to one idea. The longerthe sentence, the more difficult it isto grasp. If it�s longer than 30 words,consider rewriting it. Don�t linkunrelated ideas together with �and�or use semicolons.

Structure your sentences using asimple subject-verb-object sentenceorder. By sticking to this order, youavoid using the passive voice, usefewer words, and your sentence iseasier to understand.

Example

Applicants (subject) appreciate(verb) honesty (object).

Try not to start sentences with �it�and �there��these constructions areoften vague and wordy, and canusually be restructured to be muchmore direct.

Examples

It was not our intention to break therules. (Avoid)

We did not intend to break the rules.(Preferred)

There may be resistance to the plan.(Avoid)

Some people may resist the plan.(Preferred)

There are several options in thisproposal. (Avoid)

This proposal presents severaloptions. (Preferred)

Spacing after a period � Use asingle space to separate the end ofone sentence from the beginning ofthe next. Word processorsautomatically put in the requiredspacing at the end of sentences.Pressing the space bar twice willresult in twice the required spacing.

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Appendix 2 Writing Styleguide 119

Since

See Because and since.

Spacing

Don�t use hard spaces (the spaceproduced when you press the spacebar) to centre or position text�usetabs, indents, or centred alignment.

Use a single space to separate theend of one sentence from thebeginning of the next. As a generalrule, you should never have twoconsecutive spaces in a document.

Spelling and usage

When writing for a Canadianaudience, use Canadian, notAmerican, spelling (for example,�colour� not �color,� �centre� not�center�). If in doubt, refer to TheCanadian Oxford Dictionary.

That and which

�That� introduces a restrictiveclause�a clause that must be therefor the sentence to make sense. Arestrictive clause often defines thenoun or phrase preceding it. �Which�introduces a non-restrictive,parenthetical clause�a clause thatcould be omitted without affectingthe meaning of the sentence.

Example

The car was travelling at a speedthat would endanger lives.

The car, which was travelling at aspeed that would endanger lives,swerved onto the sidewalk.

Use �who� or �whom,� rather than�that� or �which,� when referring to aperson.

Their and there

�There� is an adverb used to indicatea place or position other than �here.��Their� is the possessive form of�they.� Use the plural pronoun �their�only when the noun it�s representingis plural.

Examples

Your manual is over there.

Their manual needs to be updated.

Contact each employee to clarifytheir options and rights. (Incorrect)

Contact all employees to clarify theiroptions and rights. (Correct)

Then and than

�Then� refers to a time in the past orthe next step in a sequence. �Than� isused for comparisons.

Time

When referring to specific times, usenumerals and the abbreviations�a.m.� and �p.m.� with lower-caseletters and periods.

Examples

3:30 p.m. 9:00 a.m. 4:45 p.m.

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Underlining

Use underlining sparingly�it slowsreading speed. Don�t use it toemphasize parts of the text. Ifsomething is very important, give it aseparate heading, put it in a text box,or create a note (see Notes).

Verbs

Use the active voice and strong verbswhenever you can. Make sure theverb agrees with the subject of thesentence.

Voice � Use the active voicewhenever possible. Using the activevoice helps maintain the preferredsubject-verb-object sentence order.You also avoid introducing theauxiliary verb required by passiveverb forms.

Example

The form is completed by theapplicant. (Passive voice)

The applicant completes the form.(Active voice)

Tense � Match the different verbtenses to different types of documentsand to the logical time relationshipsdescribed.

Example

The applicant will complete the form.(Future tense)

The applicant completes the form.(Present tense)

Complete the form. (Imperativeform, present tense)

The applicant completed the form.(Past tense)

Strong verbs � Use direct, activeverbs. Avoid combining weak, vagueverbs such as �be� or �do� with thenoun form of a verb. Watch out forverbs that end in �-ion� strungtogether with prepositions (forexample, change �creation of thedocument� to �creating thedocument�).

Examples

Our research could be of help to youin making a decision. (Weak)

Our research could help you make adecision. (Strong)

We did a calculation of the total.(Weak)

We calculated the total. (Strong)

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Appendix 2 Writing Styleguide 121

Agreement � Make sure that thenoun and verb in your sentencesagree with each other�that both aresingular or both plural.

Example

Power (noun, singular) from back-up generators and emergencylighting are (verb, plural) routinelymaintained as part of the fire plan.(Incorrect)

Power (noun, singular) from back-up generators and emergencylighting is (verb, singular) routinelymaintained as part of the fire plan.(Correct)

When using an �either/or� sentenceformat, make sure the verb agreeswith the part of the subject closest tothe verb.

Example

Either the lock or the barredwindows is likely to reduce thefts.(Incorrect)

Either the lock or the barredwindows are likely to reduce thefts.(Correct)

Voice

See Verbs.

Want

See Desire, wish, need, and want.

Which

See That and which.

Who and whom

Use the pronoun �who� as a subject.Use the pronoun �whom� as a directobject, an indirect object, or the objectof a preposition.

Example

Who owns this?

To whom does this belong?

Wish

See Desire, wish, need, and want.

Your and you’re

�Your� is the possessive form of you.�You�re� is the contraction of �youare.�

Example

This is your coat.

You�re in charge today.

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Appendix 3 Dictionary of Plain English 123

APPENDIX 3APPENDIX 3APPENDIX 3APPENDIX 3

Dictionary of Plain English

The following list contains unnecessarily difficult words and phrases, word-wasting idioms, compound prepositions, overly formal phrases, and gender-specific words and phrases, along with their plain English or gender-inclusivealternatives.

Instead of… Use…

a great deal of............................................ mucha large number of ....................................... morea little less than ...................................... almosta majority of ................................................mosta number of........................several, many, somea period of several weeks............ several weeksa small number of ......................................a fewa sufficient number ................................ enoughaccomplish .......................................................doaccorded ......................................................givenaccording to the law ................................ legallyaccordingly....................................................... soaccumulate ...............................................gatheracquaint ......................................................... tellacquire ........................................................... getactivate ............................................ begin, startadd an additional ......................................... addadditional...................................................addedadequate number of ............................... enoughadminister .....................................manage, giveadmit of.......................................................allowadvert...........................................................referadvise .................................................. write, tellaffirmative ..................................................... yesafford an opportunity................... allow, permitafforded.......................................................givenaggregate .....................................................totalall of a sudden ..................................... suddenlyall of the ....................................................all theallocate..............................................give, dividealong the lines of .......................................... likealternatives..............................................choicesameliorate.............................................. improveanticipate..................................................expectapparent ..................................................... clear

Instead of… Use…

appear .........................................................seemapprise...................................................... informapproximately............................................aboutas a general rule ..................................generallyas a matter of fact..................... in fact (or omit)as a means of ................................................... toas of now ...................................................... nowas to whether .............................. about whetheras to ............................................................aboutascertain ................................................ find outassist, assistance ......................................... helpat a later date ............................................. laterat all times ...............................................alwaysat an early date ...........................................soonat hand .........................................................hereat present ..................................................... nowat regular intervals of time.................regularlyat that point in time....................................thenat the conclusion of........................ at the end ofat the present time...................................... nowat the rear of ............................................behindat the time that ........................................ whenat this time, at this point in time ............... nowat which time ...............................................thenattains the age of.................................. becomesattempt (as a verb) ........................................ trybased on the fact that.................due to/becausebeyond a shadow of doubt....................no doubtbottom line .................................................resultbring to a conclusion ............................concludebrought to a sudden halt..........................haltedbusinessman ........businessperson, professionalby means of ..................................................... byby reason of........................................ because ofby the time that ......................................... when

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Instead of… Use…

by the use of .................................................... byby virtue of .......................................... by, underby way of illustration...................... for examplecalculate ................................................computecame to a stop ........................................ stoppedcategory ..................................kind, class, groupcause it to be done ..........................have it donecease ............................................................. stopchairman ...............................chair, chairpersoncheck into ...................................................checkcognizance ......................................... knowledgecome to an end ..............................................endcommence.........................................begin, startcommitment ...........................................promisecommunicate ............write, tell, talk, telephonecompensation ................................................ paycomplete (verb)............................. finish, fill outcomply with............................................... followconceal ..........................................................hideconcerning the matter of ...... about, concerningconduct an investigation ..................investigateconsequence .............................................. resultconsequently ....................................................soconstitute...............................................make upconstruct..................................................... buildconsummate ....................bring about, completecontiguous to ........................................... next tocontingent upon ................................................ifcontinue..................................................keep upcontribute ..................................................... givecost the sum of ..............................................costcustomary practice ................................practicedeem ........................................... consider, thinkdemonstrate ................................................showdesire ...........................................................wantdespite the fact that...... although, even thoughdetailed information ................................detailsdetermine ................................................. decidedialogue .......................discussion, conversationdisclose ........................................................showdiscontinue ................................................... stopdisseminate ...............................send, distributedoes not operate to................................ does notdonate........................................................... givedraw to a close ..............................................enddue to the fact that ..............because, although,

even thoughduring such time as ......................during, whileduring the course of.................................duringduring the period from ............................... fromduring the time that .....................during, whileduring which time .....................................whileedifice .................................................... building

Instead of… Use…

effect ...........................................................makeeffectuate ........................ bring about, carry outelect..................................................choose, pickeliminate............................... remove, strike outelucidate ................................................ explainemployment................................................ workencounter.....................................................meetencourage .................................................... urgeendeavour (verb) ............................................tryensuing .................................................followingensure ........................................................followenter (on a form) ........................................writeenter into a contract with.............contract withequivalent...................................................equalevince .......................................................... showexcessive number of ............................ too manyexecute..........................................................signexhibit a tendency to .............................. tend toexpedite ....................... hasten, hurry, speed upexpend........................................................spendexpiration ......................................................endexplicit ........................................................ plainfacilitate....................................make easy, helpfailed to .................................................... did notfeasible................................................... possiblefew in number ............................................... fewfewer in number........................................ fewerfinalize ............................................... end, finishfireman ..............................................fire fighterfor a period of ................................................. forfor the duration of ...................................duringfor the purpose of ..................................... for, tofor the reason that ...................... since, becauseforeman..................................... supervisor, leadformulate ........................work out, devise, formforthwith......................................... immediatelyforward ........................................................ sendfrequently ................................................... oftenfrom the point of view of................................ forfrom time to time ............................occasionallygive authorization ...............................authorizehandyman............................ caretaker, repairerhence................................................................ sohereafter .......................... after this takes effectherein........................................................... herehereinafter............................... future, followingheretofore .... before this takes effect, until nowhopefully ................................................... I hopehostess ..........................................................hosthousewife.........................................homemakerI would appreciate it if you would .......... pleaseif at all possible .................................. if possibleif that were the case..................................... if so

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Appendix 3 Dictionary of Plain English 125

Instead of… Use…

implement............................................ carry outin a position to...............................................canin a satisfactory manner...............satisfactorilyin accordance with ........................by, under, onin accordance with ...............................by/underin addition to ...................................also/besidesin an effort to................................................... toin as much as............................... since, becausein back of.................................................. behindin case ............................................................... ifin close proximity ..............................near, closein connection with....... with, about, concerningin consideration of the fact ................... becauseindicate ........................................ show, tell, sayin excess of......................................... more thanin favour of ..................................................... forinitiate ....................................................... beginin lieu of ........................... instead of, in place ofin light of the fact that.......................... becausein many cases ............................................. oftenin most cases .......................................... usuallyin order to ........................................................ toin other words .................................... or, that isin possession of............................................havein reference to........................about, concerningin regard to ............................about, concerningin relation to ..........................about, concerningin respect to ...........................about, concerningin short supply ......................................... scarcein such a manner as to.................................... toin terms of................................................... in, ofin the absence of.....................................withoutin the amount of ........................................of, forin the course of ............................. during, whilein the event that....................... should, if, whenin the first place ...........................................firstin the instance of............................................ forin the interest of............................................. forin the majority of instances..usually, generallyin the matter of ......................................... aboutin the nature of............................................. likein the near future........................................ soonin the neighbourhood of ............................ aboutin the possession of .............................has, havein the proximity of........................ about, nearlyin the vicinity of ..............around, near, close toin this case................................................... herein view of the fact .................................. becauseindicate ....................................................... showinform ............................................................ tellinitial.............................................................firstinitiate ............................................. begin, startinput..................................... comments, opinion

Instead of… Use…

inquire............................................................askinside of ..................................................... insideinstitute............................................ begin, startinsufficient ........................................not enoughinterrogate ............................................ questionis able to .........................................................canis authorized to............................................ mayis binding upon .......................................... bindsis defined as ......................................................isis empowered to........................................... mayis entitled ...............................................is calledis unable to............................................... cannotissue ............................................................. giveit is apparent that ............................ apparentlyit is clear that .......................................... clearlyit is directly .................................................. willit is evident that ..................................evidentlyit is my intention to....................................I willit is obvious that ..................................obviouslyit is often the case that...............................oftenit is probable that .................................probablyit is the duty.................................................. willit shall be lawful.......................................... mayit will be necessary ..........................will need toit would appear that......................... apparentlykeep an eye on .......................................... watchlast of all ....................................................... lastlaw passed....................................... law enactedloan (as a verb) ............................................ lendlocality.........................................................placelocate .............................................................findlocation........................................................placemailman .........................................letter carriermaintenance ........................................... upkeepmajor portion of ...................................... most ofmajority of................................................... mostmake application to ................................... applymake contact with ...............................see, meetmake the acquaintance of .......................... meetman (as a verb) ............................. staff, operateman/men (as a noun)............... humans, people,

individualsman-days/hours ................... worker-days/hoursmankind...............people, humans, humankindman-made .......synthetic, artificial, hand-mademanner..........................................................waymanpower .................workers, workforce, staff,

employeesmaterialize ...............................................appearmaximum.........most, largest, longest, greatestmiddleman .................... go-between, facilitator,

intermediaryminimum..................................... least, smallest

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126 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Instead of… Use…

modification ............................................ changemodify...................................................... changemonth of July ...............................................Julymoreover..............................................how, nextnecessitate................................................... neednegative ...........................................................nonegotiate.....................................................makenevertheless .................................. but, howevernewsman ............................. reporter, journalistno later than June 30 ................... before July 1notwithstanding the fact that............ although,

even thoughobjective................................................aim, goalobligate .........................................................bindobligation......................................................debtobtain..............................................................getoccasion (as a verb)....................................causeof a technical nature............................ technicalof no mean ability .................................. capableof the opinion .......................................... believeon a daily basis .........................daily, every dayon a few occasions........................... occasionallyon a weekly basis ................weekly, every weekon account of ..........................................becauseon an ongoing basis ......................... continuallyon and after July 1........................after June 30on behalf of..................................................... foron his/her own application ... at his/her requeston or before June 30 ..................... before July 1on the basis of .................... by, from, because ofon the grounds that ...............................becauseon the part of................................................... byonce in a while ................................ occasionallyongoing .............................................. continuingoptimum ............................. best, greatest, mostor, in the alternative........................................oroutput ..................................................... productowing to the fact that ............................becauseparameter.................................. boundary, limitparticipate ............................................take partpending........................................................untilper annum, per day, per foot........a year, a day,

a footper centum ............................................. percentperiod of time ..................................period, timepersonnel.........................................people, staffpertaining to .........................................of, aboutperuse ...........................................................readpoliceman ....................................... police officerportion ..........................................................partpossess......................................................... haveprepared to offer .........................can offer, offerpresently.......................................................soon

Instead of… Use…

preserve .......................................................keepprior to ...................................................... beforeprior ..........................................................earlierprioritize ......................................................rankproceed.................................. go, go ahead, startprocure.......................................buy, obtain, getprohibited from ..................................... may notpromulgate ...................................... make, issueprosecute its business......................do businessprovided that.................................................... ifprovision of law .............................................lawpurchase (as a verb)......................................buypursuant to................................................underrange all the way from..................... range fromreceipt of .................................................. receiverefer back.....................................................referregarding ................................................... aboutreimburse .................................................. repayrelative to .................................................. aboutremainder ..................................................... restremuneration ................ pay, wages, salary, feerender ................................................make, giverepairman...........................repairer, technicianreported to the effect.............................reportedrepresents......................................................... isrequire .........................................................needreside .............................................................liveresidence.....................................................homerespecting .................................................. aboutretain ...........................................................keeprevise downward ....................... lower, decreasesaid, same, such ...........................the, this, thatsalesgirl, saleslady............... sales clerk/person/

representativesalesman............................... sales clerk/person/

representativesections 20 to 94 inclusive ...... sections 20 to 94seldom if ever ............................................rarelyshall ...............................................................willshows a preference for ............................preferssince the time that ..................................... sincesolely .............................................................onlyspecified ................................................... namedspokesman.................................... spokespersonstarted off with............................... started withstewardess ................................ flight attendantstrategize ..................................................... plansubmit................................................. give, sendsubsequent to ....................................after, latersubsequent................................................... nextsubsequent(ly) .............................................latersubstantial.............big, large, great, significantsufficient number of................................enough

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Appendix 3 Dictionary of Plain English 127

Instead of… Use…

sufficient ................................................. enoughsummon ......................................... send for, callsustain ...................................suffer, keep goingterminate ..............................................end, stopthat is to say .............................................that isthe fact that ...............................................(omit)the foregoing.................................the, this, thatthe fullest possible extent... mostly, completelythe manner in which....................................howthe only difference being that .........except thatthe present time ...........................................nowthe question as to whether ..................whether,

the questionthere is no doubt but that.. doubtless, no doubtthis is a person who ......................... this personthis is a subject that........................ this subjectthis is a topic that ............................... this topicthis is an (instance, case, situation) which.......

this (omit)through the use of ...........................................bythus ................................................. so, that wayto be sure ..............................................of courseto the extent that .................................. if, whentradesman.....................................trades person

Instead of… Use…

transmit .......................................................sendtranspire .................................................happenunder circumstances in which........... although,

even thoughunder the provisions of ............................ underuntil such time as....................................... untilutilization.......................................................useutilize, employ ...............................................useverbose ...................................................... wordyviable ...................................................... possiblevisualize ................................................. imaginevoluminous.................................................bulkywaitress........................................ waiter, serverwatchman ................................... security guardweatherman........................ weather forecaster,

meteorologistwith a view to .................................................. towith reference to............. for, about, concerningwith regard to ................. for, about, concerningwith respect to .............................. for, on, aboutwith the exception of ................................exceptwith the object of ............................................. towith the result that .................................so thatworkman ..................................................worker

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128 Sharpening Your Writing Skills

Things You’d Love to Say at Work, But Can’t

I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.

I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.

I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.

It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a word you’re saying.

Ahh…I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.

I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don’t give a damn.

I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.

Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.

It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of Karma to burn off.

And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be…?

Do I look like a people person?

This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with flourescent lighting.

I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.

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About the Author

Duncan Kent has worked as ajournalist, technical communicator,documentation consultant, and writinginstructor since graduating with aMaster of Arts degree from theUniversity of British Columbia in1976. In 1990, he was awarded thedesignation of Certified ManagementConsultant (CMC) by Canada�sgoverning body of managementconsultants.

Duncan is a founding member of theCanada West Coast chapter of theSociety for Technical Communication

(STC) and has served as the chapter�sPresident. For more than 12 years hehas taught technical writing at SimonFraser University in Vancouver,British Columbia, and is a member ofthe Advisory Board to the university�sWriting and Publishing Program. Hiswriting workshops have been offeredin almost every province and territoryin Canada, and in-house to more than50 government and private-sectororganizations.

Since 1990, Duncan Kent & AssociatesLtd. has provided a full spectrum oftechnical communication services.With specialists in writing/editing,document production, instructionaldesign, and web site creation, the firmhas guided the development of morethan 180 manuals, courses, helpsystems, and web sites.

Duncan Kent & Associates Ltd.Suite 507, 1200 West Pender StreetVancouver, British Columbia, V6E 2S9Tel: 604-683-3136

Email: [email protected]: www.techcommunicators.com

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T E C H N I C A L C O M M U N I C A T O R S

5 0 7 - 1 2 0 0 W E S T P E N D E R S T R E E TV A N C O U V E R , B R I T I S H C O L U M B I A V 6 E 2 S 9T E L : 6 0 4 6 8 3 - 3 1 3 6 F A X : 6 0 4 6 0 5 - 0 1 4 2E m a i l : d u n c a n @ t e c h c o m m u n i c a t o r s . c o mW E B w w w . t e c h c o m m u n i c a t o r s . c o m